Kids and Harry Potter: Potterheads, man…

Potterheads, man…

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 02:06 - France

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 822

You deserved it 62 080

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/07/2012 10:54 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 554

You deserved it 13 832

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 01:19 - United States - Evansville

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 3 935

By Anonymous - 02/12/2012 08:19 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 774

You deserved it 12 084

By mylove - 01/05/2009 02:50 - United States

Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 975

You deserved it 12 777

By anon - 14/01/2013 03:00 - United States - Dublin

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 959

You deserved it 3 679

By thanksalot - 11/07/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my mum called and told me she had bought me a new, white dish washer for my apartment because it doesn't have one. I was SO excited and told her I'd pay her back as soon as I could. I only had to pay her $1.25. She bought me a sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 161

You deserved it 8 635

Tight git

By Anonymous - 11/05/2023 12:00

Today, my kid's dad grumbled and complained about having to help me out buying clothes for him, because he was sure he just gave me money for clothes last year. I thought it would be fairly obvious that a 4 year-old would eventually need bigger clothes to accommodate the fact they are still growing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 158

By susan - 17/11/2012 22:31 - United States - Naperville

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 891

You deserved it 27 159

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 04:44 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 860

You deserved it 2 519

By yourwifelovesme - 04/06/2019 12:00

Today, my dad was folding laundry. He came across a pair of jeans and asked who they belonged to. My mom said, “Those are definitely mine. The knees are worn out.” Thanks for that mental image mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 388

honeycutt8729 8

Saturday 14 April 2012 5:27

Hilarious

SoSickWithIt 14

Saturday 14 April 2012 5:30

..What is that mysterious ticking noise? ..Snape. ..Snape... Severus Snape. ..Harry Potter, Harry Potter! :D

Comments

StephWALKER 17

Thursday 10 January 2013 14:38

Several years of chores?!?!!!? YEARS ?! For one pair of jeans..............

pogozo 3

Wednesday 20 March 2013 4:33

At least your child is goddamn awesome.

ConnorBmx 3

Monday 13 May 2013 11:17

Best reaction to new jeans ever!

avifors 10

Sunday 2 June 2013 11:33

Your daughter is awesome and funny and you should be proud.

VetTech1 4

Thursday 4 July 2013 14:16

I don't understand how this is an fml. that's hilarious!

soldiat_fml 17

Monday 22 July 2013 7:42

That's an awful lot of work for a single pair of jeans.

broken_brae345 6

Saturday 24 August 2013 7:27

I love that girl! :D she is my new hero hahahah!

Cass_x 22

Thursday 28 November 2013 15:52

ohmygod. your daughter is awesome.

JVIarijke 24

Sunday 1 December 2013 12:05

That is so funny! Be glad you have such a nice daughter, OP!

xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18

Monday 16 December 2013 11:36

Your daughter is amazing.

Keywords

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Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 878

You deserved it 2 095

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

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The Top

Today, my mother called me a bad son for not telling her "Happy Mother's Day". When I told her Mother's Day wasn't until the 10th, she said that I would have forgotten anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 837

You deserved it 3 062

Today, I saw what I thought was a cobweb right behind my head where I sleep. I went to wipe it off and part of the sheetrock dented in. On further inspection, they were holes in the wall. Termites started coming out of them like something out of a horror movie. My husband is out of town for the next few weeks, and I'm extremely bug-phobic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 091

You deserved it 235

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 77

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 087

You deserved it 5 733

Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 981

You deserved it 313

Today, while paying for dinner, my card declined and my date immediately left. The waitress then ran my card again successfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 247

You deserved it 211

Potterheads, man…

Same thing different taste

Tight git

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