Love, Surprise and Animals: PTSD

PTSD

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 478

You deserved it 45 172

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Same thing different taste

By Jex - 06/10/2012 10:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 904

You deserved it 4 297

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 03:17 - Canada

Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 804

You deserved it 2 375

The opposite of a good idea

By gorokhan2 - 27/04/2020 17:00

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 4 427

Backfire

By Darryl - 12/05/2015 12:53 - Australia - Tarragindi

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 462

You deserved it 4 965

By Anonymous - 19/12/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 087

You deserved it 3 334

Who are you?

By NotlovingAgain - 14/03/2022 06:00

Today, knowing my long-distance boyfriend was cheating on me with a local girl, I decided to make a surprise visit to confront him by showing up to his home. Both of them answered the door. My boyfriend claimed to not know me, and threatened to call the cops. I ended up back at the airport in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 458

By googlefreak54321 - 25/07/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, I went out to go meet up with a guy. I walked all the way to his house just to see him. Then he made me hide behind a bush till his girlfriend left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 510

You deserved it 13 589

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 990

You deserved it 5 566

By Galaxy - 29/03/2014 17:03 - Belgium - Guigoven

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 503

You deserved it 7 315

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 374

You deserved it 22 631

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 5 October 2009 23:32

you gave her a scaregasm! oh!

curlsandwhatnot 0

Monday 5 October 2009 23:40

i.. i think i love you

Comments

aahas7 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 7:12

To #47... He was probably surprising her because it said to "scare/surprise her" in the FML....duhhhh

perfectwinds 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 8:20

To everyone wondering why she had it on her so fast: It's quite possible it's a keychain one in which case she would obviously have her keys if she was walking the dog so the mace would already be in her hand. I have my spray on my keychain and I keep my finger on it just in case. You never know, even in the nicest of neighborhoods stuff can happen. But my spray isn't mace, it's 700x better. =]

Jackiess22 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 9:06

Thaat is sweet that you care she is safe.... but yeah you deserved it.

Ssgsolbo13 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 10:06

well ur a douche for two reasons: 1.long distance relationships never work 1/2 of the couple always cheats cuz they have needs , which is totally understandable 2.if U bought her pepper spray (probably for this exact reason,cuz what if u were a rapist)then u do deserve it ....douche!

meaganliz 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 13:51

I don't know if we should listen to someone who can barely type in English. Or someone who says that "cheating is okay, because you have needs." Isn't that kind of like "killing is okay, because we get angry?" Just saying.... Additionally, I love you sweeping generalizations that "long distance relationships never work." Just because you can't keep a relationship going with another human being for more than four weeks doesn't mean others share your same crippling disability. Besides, there are many couples who are happily married now who met long distance (or were separated due to circumstances.) I'm pretty sure that some long distance relationships do work. On the FML, I'm sorry you got maced, I thought the joke was hilarious, but I'm not a terribly jumpy girl. I think you kind of had it coming. But, it's still a cute story. I'm sure she feels worse.

DameGreyWulf 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 23:14

My teacher met her husband over the Internet. Long-distance relationships can work. Also, it's a good thing he bought her the mace. Shows her he worries about her (therefore works him in better, from a manipulative standpoint), and also protects her from real predators. He just got unlucky, but at least he knows she can and will use it! So how does that make him a douche, exactly?

Neferria 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 11:11

She's your long-distance girlfriend. You don't know her that well, regardless of how much you talk. So you deserve it for pull some stupid stunt like this.