Intimacy: Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands...

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By swedishguy - 05/10/2009 17:22 - Sweden

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 397

You deserved it 5 033

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 07:49 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 565

You deserved it 6 267

Cheers

By ineedanotherdrink - 07/08/2009 09:43 - United States

Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 894

You deserved it 5 551

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 403

You deserved it 18 019

Not a player

By Anonymous - 29/11/2022 14:00

Today, and forever, I've never had a woman try to hit on me, so when my barista asked if I’d like to come to her place after her shift, I didn’t immediately realise she meant sex, so I actually stupidly said, “What for?” She got embarrassed and people glared at me like I was scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 533

By Anonymous - 11/04/2015 22:05 - United States - Shelby

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 951

You deserved it 11 917

Casual

By Patrick - 11/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to meet a friend for coffee. When I arrived, I mistakenly thought it was a casual meet-up, but apparently, it was a date. I didn’t realize this until she leaned in for a kiss at the end, and I awkwardly offered her a fist bump instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 90

By anonymous neighbor - 30/01/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 786

You deserved it 6 644

On a promise

By cuz803 - 12/08/2022 00:00

Today, after two and a half years of being single, I locked eyes with a cute girl. We were the same height at 6'1 so we joked that if we had a baby, it'd be huge. After some flirting, roughhousing, and making out, she gave me her number, and told me to bring condoms to her place. Then I woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 377

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 00:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 897

You deserved it 4 683

Smooth

By firstdategonebad - 12/10/2012 18:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 968

You deserved it 2 592

darthhamlet 0

Monday 5 October 2009 23:17

since when is minor contact close to getting laid?!?

xxorganizedmess 0

Monday 5 October 2009 23:21

Miss the point much?

Comments

darthhamlet 0

Monday 5 October 2009 23:17

since when is minor contact close to getting laid?!?

gesseniasxangel 0

Monday 5 October 2009 23:21

He's saying he hasn't had any action in a long time. Ass.

xxorganizedmess 0

Monday 5 October 2009 23:21

Miss the point much?

MyNameIsLolz 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 3:03

I'm with #1, that has nothing to do with being laid. Maybe getting affection.

Szut_fml 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 10:29

uh, #1 and #23, that's the point. It's not even close to getting laid. Yet it's the closest he had to gretting laid. Too hard for you to get it?

hockeylover7171 0

Sunday 4 April 2010 14:31

yes 1 and 23 that wasn't the point

bballchamp43 0

Wednesday 9 June 2010 0:44

I guess I've almost got laid every day this year when I get my girl friend's binder in Geography and we touch hands in the exchange.

bmwe46M3 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 2:34

your ugly when have u ever got laod

justynicole 0

Friday 15 July 2011 5:49

YDI for not being able to spell. you shouldn't breed...

blacktower 13

Friday 28 September 2012 6:54

People can be so stupid not understanding this

livebetter 0

Monday 5 October 2009 23:26

I don't think this is FML. There are lots of bad reasons for getting laid (as well as good ones) and lots of good reasons for not getting laid (as well as bad). There are plenty of FML's written by people who did get laid. Without more facts I don't see it as FML.

shawn916 0

Monday 5 October 2009 23:35

I agree with darth hamlet if almost getting laid is just buy touching someones hand.I alost got laid a 100 times last week at work LMAO

LewJH 0

Tuesday 6 October 2009 1:19

Fail.

Clare420 0

Monday 26 April 2010 0:48

I hate dumb people. even tho they entertain me(:

todo350 0

Sunday 27 June 2010 19:24

your funny! LOL Jks you look like an inbred albino persian sewer rat. and shootin' squirelles all day isnt a job, and touching your cousin 100 times isnt getting laid.

tmaq973 7

Tuesday 10 July 2012 6:37

Cleavage ^

Jim9349 10

Monday 5 October 2009 23:36

Don't know if this is fake, but it sure wasn't funny....

GodsOfWrath 0

Monday 5 October 2009 23:43

Haha. You didn't cum in her mouth did you?

SystemofaBlink41 27

Sunday 30 September 2012 1:28

How is this... Why.... Cum?.... *gets in fetal position*

atvarela 0

Monday 5 October 2009 23:47

today, i got closer to getting some action than i have in the past two years. this is due to the fact that i'm probably still a virgin. but this cash register lady was pretty damn smokin. i wish i could have a threesome with two of her. FML