Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Repetition

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Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 787

You deserved it 4 447

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 323

You deserved it 2 768

Automaton

By Jessie - 25/12/2010 13:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 723

You deserved it 9 560

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 07:54 - United States

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 822

You deserved it 10 209

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 462

You deserved it 7 336

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 01:37 - United States - Duarte

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 365

You deserved it 4 887

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 398

You deserved it 5 768

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 661

You deserved it 9 537

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 111

You deserved it 1 170

By jokersgirl - 21/05/2019 04:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 288

You deserved it 882

Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 494

Dick_diamond 22

Thursday 26 February 2015 8:14

Was he trying to give directions to himself? Afraid he might skip a step?

RobinGoodfellow 47

Thursday 26 February 2015 8:14

While I think it's a good idea to not force sex to be a serious thing, I also think that that's weird and not remotely sexy.

Comments

RockDrRoll 9

Thursday 26 February 2015 8:18

Repeat the opposite back in a high voice or harmony. Life is boring, just have fun with it!

slothlover63 12

Thursday 26 February 2015 8:19

Time for you to "exit, exit"

aylind 18

Thursday 26 February 2015 8:22

I would've been like, "say that one more time and you will exit and never enter again"

Jazzy793 16

Thursday 26 February 2015 8:25

And, yet he couldn't even get his timing right.

vigoss_fml 4

Thursday 26 February 2015 8:25

it's time to buy a *****...

SauceySarah 30

Thursday 26 February 2015 8:29

I don't understand why he thought that would be a good idea.

phaelnb 26

Thursday 26 February 2015 10:41

I'm guessing he did that to prevent himself from cuming too fast. No one wants premature ejaculation on the bed =D

PNiggZ 19

Thursday 26 February 2015 8:37

Guess it's time to exit that relationship

iAlissa 34

Thursday 26 February 2015 23:24

#24, it's most people's way of dealing with a totally fixable situation in relationships these days. Which is saddening

dakatabg 31

Thursday 26 February 2015 8:46

He was entertaining himself

buckdharma 37

Thursday 26 February 2015 9:08

He read the book, Sex for Dummies. Chapter II- Oral: Lick, repeat.

R2Dee2 10

Thursday 26 February 2015 9:21

Maybe he forgot what he was suppose to be doing??

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The Top

Today, I was talking with a friend and somehow the topic of Albert Einstein popped up. He started referring to Einstein as American and I laughed. I then realized he was serious. My IQ has dropped even further from Einstein's as a result of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 196

Today, I was finishing up my art project that was due the next day. I was really tired and fell asleep on my table. Three hours later, I woke up to find my project torn to bits. I went out and saw my cat vomiting out feathers and other materials I used for my project. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 737

You deserved it 8 164

The Top

Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 958

You deserved it 2 241

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 183

You deserved it 6 608

Today, I had a meeting with a place that does Terramation (turns you into compost) to plan for my Mom who has stage 4 lung cancer. It feels surreal to have a professional conversation about plans and finances for when my Mom meets her end. I'm glad she knows what she wants, and it isn't a last minute deal, but dang… FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 86

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 544

You deserved it 145

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 019

You deserved it 68 196

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 390

You deserved it 4 383