Weird, Parents, Dad jokes and Intimacy: Roll with it

Roll with it

By jonasister - 15/04/2012 18:43 - Sweden - Lund

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 421

You deserved it 3 348

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/06/2013 00:30 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 177

You deserved it 7 060

By Anonymous - 15/03/2014 21:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 915

You deserved it 11 672

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 773

You deserved it 4 994

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 727

You deserved it 5 789

Supportive

By arch maester shavayalsharashion - 26/07/2015 17:29 - United Kingdom - Surbiton

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 815

You deserved it 2 935

By Starchyld - 11/11/2009 12:21 - Canada

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 938

You deserved it 4 135

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 704

You deserved it 62 346

Uh... Okay?

By Champion sucker - 11/08/2018 06:00

Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 031

You deserved it 1 829

By peaaaak - 03/06/2011 10:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 216

You deserved it 5 053

By hateskool888581 - 12/01/2010 00:28 - Mexico

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 921

You deserved it 2 347

ambrown101 4

Monday 16 April 2012 3:18

That'll make for an awkward ride home.

perdix 29

Monday 16 April 2012 3:21

Maybe after a few more beers, the joke would be on you. Or in you.

Comments

xgetxbentx 13

Monday 16 April 2012 12:08

Probably time to stop taking your dad for beer.... That's ******* gross.

OffToTheGayBar 9

Monday 16 April 2012 13:48

Sounds like the beginning of a bad Japanese porno, not that... I would know, 'cause I wouldn't. Cough, cough, splutter, splutter.

SpartanMerc 18

Monday 16 April 2012 13:52

While the thought of sleeping with her dad is disturbing, she's not actually doing that, she could have just played along and helped him feel good about himself in front of the other guys, and since that's why she took him out for drinks anyway it shouldn't have mattered what some strangers think. They didn't know it was father/daughter so it's not like they were saying "way to score on your hot ass daughter." I'm not saying what the dad did was right either, if it was my daughter people were commenting on like that I'd have to do something about it.

GelliE212 7

Monday 16 April 2012 14:10

I would have said dad are u ready to go? SMH.

tomtato 10

Monday 16 April 2012 14:46

HE should have said she came from my sperm, that oughta do the trick.

tomtato 10

Monday 16 April 2012 14:48

HE should have said she came from my sperm, that oughta do the trick.

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 16 April 2012 16:39

What a tangled web. What will these guys think when they find out later, that OP is his daughter? Dad should have just stuck to the truth. Ego shouldn't stop him from saying "Hey, that's my daughter!". They may not believe him, and think "wink-wink", but at least it's out there.

the_true_batman 10

Monday 16 April 2012 17:23

Well, do you think your dad is hot too? You probably do, at least subconsciously, since you took him out for a beer, that's practically a date. Try having sex with him, and see how it goes.