Miscellaneous: Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper....

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 773

You deserved it 4 994

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 243

By Anon - 04/08/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 047

You deserved it 4 128

By itchybollos - 16/09/2010 09:04 - Australia

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 064

You deserved it 3 346

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 500

You deserved it 4 176

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

By Nick Pat - 30/09/2015 13:13

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 677

You deserved it 2 959

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 496

You deserved it 6 823

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 327

You deserved it 6 843

By annonymous - 18/06/2012 01:57 - United States

Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 352

You deserved it 2 043

By costcocondoms - 23/07/2009 05:23 - Mexico

Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 972

You deserved it 9 636

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:07

Ha ha! Your dad is awesome! If the guys have any sense of humour they will know your dad was taking the piss out of you. But then again it could be your dads way of keeping you away from boys. Either way Dad: 1 Daughter: 0

roxii__x 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:06

"URRRRGH, DAD!"

Comments

Locket_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:03

ah, my first first comment. yippee. nothing else to add..

Lucidium 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 13:38

First first reply to the first replier I've ever done, we should both be awarded.

gehoy 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 23:58

Here, you can both have a ?. Grats!

CurlyChica808 4

Wednesday 10 August 2011 14:50

109 and 1 - wanna cookie?

Bbhd05 0

Saturday 24 September 2011 3:26

I do 115...

reras89 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:03

Your dad sucks

mak349 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:03

haha your dad rools!

xxxbooxxx 16

Tuesday 29 March 2011 2:44

yes. her dad is amazing :)

torch433 1

Tuesday 22 May 2012 4:30

hell yeh :D

WickedFan 12

Saturday 23 November 2013 20:34

*Rules

8313girl 28

Tuesday 29 April 2014 17:19

Rools? Wow! Please tell me you did that on purpose to be funny.

Deviant_fml 5

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:04

you went to the store to buy toilet paper... so, how was your stomach feeling?

Kennzz 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 6:24

just because that's all they needed doesn't mean her stomach was hurting. I'm pretty sure if you ran out of toilet paper you would make a run to the store too.. what if you took a shit?

roxii__x 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:06

"URRRRGH, DAD!"

hayleyblack2u71 21

Sunday 4 January 2015 22:52

#5 Good job! Makes OP sound constipated, nice add-on.

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:07

Safko 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:09

your dad's funny :3

rebi_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:10

I agree with #6. Your dad rocks! Enjoy the fact that he loves you enough to mess with you =)

will90 5

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:12

all in good fun. look for an opening to get him back.

ArtGirl87 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 16:13

Haha, this totally sounds like my dad and I! It's great that he cares enough to give you a hard time. :) Now all you have to do is find a way to get him back...