Cats and Animals: Scaredy cat

Scaredy cat

By amazinghermit - 25/11/2014 04:21 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 194

You deserved it 6 579

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Same thing different taste

Caught

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:47 - United States - Apollo

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 615

You deserved it 7 921

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 19/11/2024 06:00 - United States - Hightstown

Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 902

You deserved it 12 537

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 961

You deserved it 47 320

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 17:01 - Netherlands

Today, at 2 a.m. I heard a noise coming from the living room. I thought somebody must be breaking in, so I had to save my cats. When I opened the door, all I could see was the only plant I owned, all over the room. The cats just greeted me with a friendly purr, like they were happy I was joining them in their sandbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 226

Spooked

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 05:08

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a makeshift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 799

You deserved it 6 773

By haunted - 24/11/2011 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 632

You deserved it 4 826

Ratatouille

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 08:02

Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 172

Haunted house

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 16:58 - Germany

Today, I jumped when, after being home alone for days, I suddenly saw the door handle move. Apparently, the cats weren't happy about being locked out of the kitchen and were pretty close to figuring things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 200

By Sarah1330 - 25/02/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 407

You deserved it 3 346

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 16:01

Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 140

HeadlessSparrow 20

Tuesday 25 November 2014 12:32

be happy! at least you're not getting cat burglarized!

TommyG493 11

Tuesday 25 November 2014 12:32

Meowch

Comments

obnum 19

Tuesday 25 November 2014 12:31

Why is this an FML? You should be glad your house wasn't robbed :D Although an hour in your car seems annoying.

HeadlessSparrow 20

Tuesday 25 November 2014 12:32

be happy! at least you're not getting cat burglarized!

RA91 26

Tuesday 25 November 2014 13:01

Agreed

Sports_guy3 28

Tuesday 25 November 2014 13:25

@12- If only there was a button for that.

FluffyPandas156 13

Tuesday 25 November 2014 18:18

if there was. it would've been a CATastrophe

TommyG493 11

Tuesday 25 November 2014 12:32

Meowch

feven 32

Tuesday 25 November 2014 12:36

I'm suprised you didnt call the cops

devildog562 33

Tuesday 25 November 2014 12:38

Your cat-like reflexes were good. Better to be safe then sorry though op. At least you are safe when it could have ended a lot worse .

ckibb97 22

Tuesday 25 November 2014 12:46

Dude you need a pair

razoray9 22

Tuesday 25 November 2014 14:25

OP or the "dude" is a girl so she can't "grow a pair"

ohSNAPyall 26

Tuesday 25 November 2014 14:59

She needs a pair of glasses.

ekim300 26

Tuesday 25 November 2014 16:10

OP already has a pair of cats. I don't see how another pair would help.

Earths_Venus 25

Tuesday 25 November 2014 12:52

Brings a whole new meaning to cat burglar.

isabellasimone 18

Tuesday 25 November 2014 12:52

Are you kitten me? That's pretty funny.

lmfaofmllmafo 9

Tuesday 25 November 2014 13:12

pussy

un0m3 14

Tuesday 25 November 2014 13:18

I guess you don't have nerves of steel.

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I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 18

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, my now-ex fiancée actually took another man’s penis out of her mouth and had the audacity to shout, “Babe, it’s not what it looks like!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 155

Today, I finished my internship working in a government lab. I got paid $4000 for the summer. I was talking to my cousin, who said that when he worked as a carnie last summer he made $8000. I get paid half as much for doing research as a carnie does for serving people sno-cones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 756

You deserved it 5 694

Today, my neighbor, who has 4 video cameras pointed at the front of my house, got a drone that’s now hovering over my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 77

Today, my ex-girlfriend got married to a man she met last year. She left me after 8 years together because I told her I wanted to have fun and live my life, and wasn’t ready for marriage. Three years later, I’m not having fun at all. None of my bros wanna make plans because they’d rather be with their wives and kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 1 335

Today, my wife told me that I was a 5 on the scale of how well I flirted and romanced her, and that the guy before me was a 9. This was at the kitchen table in front of our kids. They thought it was hilarious, and told me I shouldn’t bother anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 697

You deserved it 196

Today, I received a bill from PayPal stating I owe $350 for an account that's linked to an email that I haven't used since 2015. I can't get into the account because someone hacked it and changed the password and security questions. Customer support is no help because I have no info about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 852

You deserved it 243

Same thing different taste

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