Intimacy: Sex Ed is broken - FML

Sex Ed is broken

By asnolt - 24/05/2011 22:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 719

You deserved it 9 376

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/10/2012 15:17 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Spicy

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 052

You deserved it 4 241

Prissy

By Anonymous - 29/07/2009 16:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 584

You deserved it 7 282

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Spicy

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 533

You deserved it 6 904

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 04:17 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 303

You deserved it 12 208

By sorry, kiddo - 30/06/2013 21:44 - Belgium - Brussels

Spicy

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 468

You deserved it 10 189

By Noname - 12/03/2009 11:24 - New Zealand

Spicy

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 261

You deserved it 18 046

By anonymous - 04/04/2013 22:52 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 748

You deserved it 4 195

By kinky - 05/08/2010 00:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 657

You deserved it 37 996

By younggrammy - 20/08/2009 20:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 230

You deserved it 45 498

How could you?

By Anon - 25/07/2022 06:00

Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 569

Next

Top comments

GiggidyPants 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 8:35

Jesus, I guess sex ed is important after all.

360XBOXFTW 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 8:35

wait... thats not normal?

Comments

lannap 4

Monday 30 January 2012 23:05

BAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Rebulera26 0

Tuesday 10 April 2012 5:07

Ahahaha.... Moron.! that is incredible.... Should have told her to move out and take care of the baby... Just to see her reaction... Funny... I feel bad now, sorry

fairylights85 13

Tuesday 3 June 2014 1:29

YDI for not providing your own child with proper sex education.

bambam42069 13

Thursday 16 April 2015 4:24

Her sex Ed teacher should be fired

MysticPizza 15

Sunday 6 December 2015 6:46

Sounds like the daughter is pregnant, and is sobbing because she was trying to put the blame on ************, but has gotten busted.

brijaygarcia94 3

Monday 22 February 2016 1:46

Don't be an idiot, every kid needs Sex Ed. Be a better parent.

DanielleinDC 33

Wednesday 11 May 2016 21:32

Does her school do the abstinence-only garbage?

peithecelt 28

Friday 12 January 2018 12:30

damn shame no one gave her some basic understanding of how sex works before she was a teenager. must be hard for her not having parents mature enough to do the job.

Havinci 19

Thursday 3 May 2018 6:59

YDI. it's a parent's job to teach their child about these things

shannon2348 14

Sunday 10 November 2019 18:57

I'm not really sure how any kid can reach their teens and not know how pregnancy works. Is she homeschooled? No phone? no tv?

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The Top

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 086

You deserved it 3 096

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 473

The Top

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 312

You deserved it 32 631

Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 390

You deserved it 17 366

Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 090

You deserved it 7 251

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 098

You deserved it 5 423

Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 505

You deserved it 38 094

Today, my mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burned candles. I thanked her. She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to my grandmother 85 years ago. Then she said the candles were used at my grandma's wedding. I had already lit them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 411

You deserved it 8 209