Sexy moves

By what sex life? - 02/08/2016 06:26 - United States - Nashville

Spicy
Today, while in the shower with my boyfriend, I tried to heat things up by washing his knob with my loofa. He couldn't stop laughing and eventually laughed so hard that he slipped and fell. He now has a bruised butt while I have a missing toenail from catching his fall. Ouch. FML
I agree, your life sucks 17 290
You deserved it 2 896
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Top comments

Tripartita 44

"HAHAHA! Oh, shiii—" *slips* "Honey, quick, grab on to my toenail!" "Sounds logical to me. Here I goooo!"

289 6
pjsr 32

Kids these days! He's supposed to scrub your loofa with his knob.

197 4

Comments

Rawrshi 25

I'm pretty sure OP wasn't exactly sawing back and forth, #1. I know loofahs are usually quite rough, but you'd have to really try to hurt someone with one to cause pain. I'm sure OP's boyfriend was fine. Minus the bruised bum, of course.

26 2
pjsr 32

Kids these days! He's supposed to scrub your loofa with his knob.

197 4
crudeandrudeguy 29

If you're trying to heat things up then you wash it with your tongue, not some stupid spongy thing. A Hummer and soapy boobs will get any guy going!!!

45 9
TymeToTry_fml 11

unless this guy is gay in which case boobs probably wont :-)

1 7
worldclassrager 39

Oompah loofa differie do your Boyfriend damaged you...oompah loofa digory de how stupid could he be?

9 36
ClairvoyantVamp 19

#6 was alluding to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by replacing Loompa with Loofah. Still isn't very funny, but that's the intention.

36 0
Tripartita 44

"HAHAHA! Oh, shiii—" *slips* "Honey, quick, grab on to my toenail!" "Sounds logical to me. Here I goooo!"

289 6
mr_t_07 10

I am laughing unreasonably hard at this

32 1
atradr 8

All your comments are hilarious what the hell man.

1 0
tygerarmy 35

You did good by trying OP, maybe next time instead of the loofa you'll take a more hands on approach.

46 0
LyricaSilvan 29

Yikes. That could have gone better. But on the bright side, at least neither of you suffered worse injuries.

2 4
Zilten 10

I would consider a missing toenail a fairly bad injury

0 2
LyricaSilvan 29

Compared to a concussion or broken limb? Because those are equally likely when slipping in the bath, and hurt a hell of a lot more.

4 0
jcash52426 5

Unless you have a really big shower don't have sex in the shower, someone is going to get hurt!!!

4 9
ZaiopePerSe 15

loofahs are filled with bacteria. why you even own one is a question in and of itself

4 6
ThaBlaqMan 1

What would you recommend I use to shower with, #16?

1 1
zipJohn 16

Actually, if properly cared for and kept in an area that quickly dries the loofa, they're quite hygienic. Also maybe she replaces a loofa every two weeks... No sense in questioning why she owns one if she didn't mention it was from Christmas two years ago.

0 0
ZaiopePerSe 15

literally anything else, 23. 27, even if you take care of your loofah there will still be the fact that it's made from a crumpled mesh. dead skin gets stuck in there and other things get stuck on that.

0 0