Kids, Babies, Motherhood and Painful: She'll grow out of it

She'll grow out of it

By Anonymous - 20/06/2022 16:00

Today, my two month-old continued teething. Her mouth is too small for teethers and pacifiers because she’s small for her age, she only thing giving her relief is using my breast as a teether. I’m cut and bruised, and there's no end in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 1 143

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/01/2014 05:38 - United States - Albany

Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 758

You deserved it 6 448

I'm fragile, OK?

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 10:00

Today, I lost a tooth and got my jaw wired shut after my toddler managed to break my jaw by whacking me with a plastic toy. Hello at least 8 weeks of being unable to talk while only eating meals that have been thoroughly blitzed into a liquid form first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 128

Bittie

By Anonymous - 18/09/2020 14:02 - Hungary - Sopron

Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 211

Demonic attack!

By zombie mommy - 27/06/2020 17:02

Today, my 10-month-old kept me up all night after a gruelling day. I finally fell asleep with her at about 2 a.m., and I woke up half an hour later to her hands on my throat, and her biting my nose. Startled, I took a big breath through my nose and snorted an ungodly amount of slobber. I’m awake now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 261

By pinky - 06/01/2010 18:12 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 512

You deserved it 53 854

What a tit

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 10:59 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, I stabbed myself in the nipple with scissors trying to cut an opening in the supposedly hands-free pumping bra I just bought. I breastfeed my 5-day-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 345

Wobbly

By Mari - 08/08/2021 11:01 - United States - South Lake Tahoe

Today, my 5-year-old got his first loose tooth, which reminded me that loose teeth give me the worst freaking heebie-jeebies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 176

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 738

You deserved it 5 814

The joys of motherhood

By Walaa Hamdan - 31/08/2021 04:01

Today, after a 3-day induced delivery for my twins, and after getting stitches down there, I woke up to boobs that are the size of footballs, and still no milk coming out. The pain of chopping them off at this point would be more bearable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 137

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 400

You deserved it 6 565

slhiggx 17

Monday 20 June 2022 17:17

Get a bottle nipple to teeth on. Anything logical besides your breasts.

Yudith 24

Monday 20 June 2022 18:44

Your baby is teething at two months? That's extraordinary! Are you sure she's not a changeling or a witch? Anyway, try Playtex bottles, their nipple is smaller and more breastlike.

Comments

slhiggx 17

Monday 20 June 2022 17:17

Get a bottle nipple to teeth on. Anything logical besides your breasts.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 20 June 2022 17:32

Tough *******!

Yudith 24

Monday 20 June 2022 18:44

Your baby is teething at two months? That's extraordinary! Are you sure she's not a changeling or a witch? Anyway, try Playtex bottles, their nipple is smaller and more breastlike.

phile 15

Monday 20 June 2022 19:10

Careful buddy I heard the human bite is 2nd most dangerous bite i forgot what was first

wookieewhosshe 28

Tuesday 21 June 2022 23:58

its the camel, fun fact

lalalaila777 24

Monday 20 June 2022 23:01

try camilia, naturally helps soothe the baby teething irritation. it is for 1+ month, has helped me tremendously in breastfeeding a teething toddler who also started teething very early on. good luck mama!