Love, Sleep, Awkward and Housework: Short nap - FML

Short nap

By Anonymous - 10/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 113

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/06/2013 20:55 - France - M?rignac

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 360

You deserved it 5 595

Great relationship you got there…

By anon - 26/10/2022 00:00

Today, I had to blast music, turn the lights on, and physically drag my 29 year-old girlfriend out of bed to wake her up. All the while, she verbally abused me. This is the only way to wake her up, and if I don't do it, she will sleep through the day and then scream at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 513

Get your act together

By Z…… - 14/11/2012 00:43 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 767

You deserved it 36 007

Hank Pecker

By Anonymous - 19/06/2013 15:29 - United States - Richmond

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 157

You deserved it 3 614

Marriage going well is it?

By Long sufferer - 21/02/2021 02:01

Today, at 5:30 a.m., my wife woke me to order milk for our business because she forgot to do so last night. She then chewed me out for doing it there and then, waking her up. I'm apparently useless, always complaining and in a bad mood about the most mundane things. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 119

Can't win

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, if I don't do work around the house, my girlfriend will call me a lazy pig and yell at me. If I do, she will yell because I didn't do it the right way. If I ask her to clarify the right way, she will call me a dumbass, give useless instructions, and work herself up into yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 257

Damned if you do…

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up early to do the dishes and clean up, after having people over yesterday. Now my wife is mad at me because I didn't stay in bed with her longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 105

Shame on you!

By Bjax - 11/10/2017 16:00

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 732

You deserved it 393

Never enough

By Anonymous - 13/08/2022 06:00

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend complaining that I don't help with the chores, I secretly took a day off work to deal with some that were piling up. When she got home, all she could do was complain about how I hadn't done more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 281

Set the scene

By NJ. - 24/01/2009 10:41 - United States

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 230

You deserved it 2 449

Next

Top comments

JIMMY2CHAINZ_84 1

Tuesday 10 September 2024 17:33

damn that’s tough. there’s no pussy out there worth being berated like that.

wrecklesswfire 3

Tuesday 10 September 2024 19:38

red flag! get out fast!

Comments

Charlie Given 26

Tuesday 10 September 2024 14:04

Don't you mean ex girlfriend 🤔

JIMMY2CHAINZ_84 1

Tuesday 10 September 2024 17:33

damn that’s tough. there’s no pussy out there worth being berated like that.

wrecklesswfire 3

Tuesday 10 September 2024 19:38

red flag! get out fast!

Keywords

Animals Harassment Miscellaneous Family Relatable Awkward Poopoo peepee Weird Surprise Love Cute Embarrassing Health Roommate Food Texting My ex Work Job interview Engagement Weddings Wanker Sex Intimacy Games Insomnia Sleep Mental health Jealousy Parents

The Top

Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 506

You deserved it 3 122

Today, my daughter confessed to me she is pregnant from a guy she had a three-minute hook up with in an alley with, but I shouldn’t worry because she’ll make plenty of money from her OnlyFans, since lots of guys like pregnancy porn, Plus it gives her a real good reason to quit smoking. I'm gobsmacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 721

You deserved it 380

The Top

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 612

You deserved it 843

Today, I found out the tattoo symbolising my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 487

You deserved it 60 626

Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 421

You deserved it 331

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 315

You deserved it 11 774

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 646

You deserved it 3 968

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 542

You deserved it 2 559