Intimacy: Skin deep - FML

Skin deep

By EffinAhole - 03/10/2010 04:27 - France

Spicy

Today, to spice things up a bit, my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner, so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 107

You deserved it 36 946

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Same thing different taste

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 475

You deserved it 9 612

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 011

You deserved it 8 075

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 142

By blocked_by_fire - 17/04/2012 18:13 - United States - Pullman

Spicy

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 736

You deserved it 4 518

By Ouch - 14/07/2009 02:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be sexy to cook dinner in lingerie. Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was cooking. I jumped and burned my boobs with boiling cooking oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 572

You deserved it 15 531

By anonymous - 12/03/2012 08:03 - United States

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 676

You deserved it 27 503

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 972

You deserved it 288

By Burny - 12/10/2017 16:00

Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 863

You deserved it 299

By poo4brains - 28/04/2012 04:42 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Spicy

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 118

You deserved it 3 639

It's getting hot in here…

By pmek - 26/03/2012 09:11 - Australia - Collingwood

Spicy

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 470

You deserved it 3 299

Next

Top comments

Lozza 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 12:16

Was the heat... SO INTENSE?

jaderrrx3 0

Sunday 3 October 2010 12:17

I think it's more like **** her life.

Comments

djtelekinesis 0

Monday 4 October 2010 1:08

DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY ACROSS HER ASS!!!

cfalen 0

Monday 4 October 2010 1:44

taste the rainbow...

Tsuki1 0

Monday 4 October 2010 1:48

Oh my god.. double rainbow! Wow... oh my god...

JokeMeister 0

Monday 4 October 2010 1:49

ALL RIGHT POPS!!

Elendil_fml 10

Monday 4 October 2010 2:05

What does this mean?!

relyo 0

Monday 4 October 2010 2:43

Pics or it didn't happen.

DMinimo 0

Monday 4 October 2010 3:02

why the f would you have sex in the kitchen? oh right, because WOMEN BELONG THERE

woody24 0

Monday 4 October 2010 3:04

not original. theres a video with the exact thing happening word for word.

snafu63 0

Monday 4 October 2010 3:29

DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE WAY ACROSS HER ASS! OH IT'S SO INTENSE!

Poster_Pastry 0

Monday 4 October 2010 5:00

kitchen sex rule #1- NEVER shove by the stove

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

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Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 39 982

You deserved it 3 382

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I agree, your life sucks 66 644

You deserved it 8 673

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I agree, your life sucks 29 426

You deserved it 2 735

Today, it’s the first week of school and I’ve already had to schedule a sit down with two students’ families. The late great Jerry Springer would be proud of how many fists and chairs started flying barely after the introduction. I teach second grade and seriously weep for the future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 97

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 484

You deserved it 5 002

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 608

You deserved it 4 847