Animals, Annoying and Cats: Skittish - FML

Skittish

By Exhausted Cat Catcher - 24/07/2022 19:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally let one of my grandma's cats outside, so I tried to get her back in. Unfortunately, this proved to be very difficult, because this damn cat would wait for me to get near her, and as soon as I came close to picking her up, she would leap and run away, then wait for me again. Show-off bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 251

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Same thing different taste

By Nekro_Kat - 10/08/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 802

You deserved it 3 898

By catslave - 17/09/2016 08:43 - New Zealand

Today, my cat wanted to go out. She watched me open the front door, leave it open while I got something from the car then come back inside. She then insisted on going out the back door. I'm a slave to a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 068

You deserved it 1 885

Cat people

By I’ll never see them again - 13/10/2022 08:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my cat tried to escape when I opened my front door. I noticed that whenever I start babbling and making random sounds, he stops dead and just stares at me in confusion, before walking back in. With my luck, however, this time my neighbor heard everything. They walked quickly away, as if they'd seen a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 22/10/2009 02:58 - United States

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 813

You deserved it 6 966

Hissing booth

By Carey - 03/09/2023 16:00 - Australia

Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 273

LET ME IN!

By Sam - 15/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat somehow managed to lock me out of my apartment by jumping on the doorknob while I was taking the trash out. I had to call a locksmith, and now it's like my cat won't even come near at me, like I betrayed him for allowing a stranger into our home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 125

Cheat!

By cat lady - 07/01/2016 03:38 - United States - Netcong

Today, I found out the reason why my cat would sometimes go outside for days at a time was because when she would go out, my neighbor would lure her in with cat treats and keep her there for up to 2 days. She's an indoor cat now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 963

You deserved it 2 078

By Noname - 26/10/2008 21:20 - United States

Today, while at the dinner table, my grandmother told me she backed over a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 192

You deserved it 4 453

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to visit my grandmother. My grandfather recently died, so I had gotten her a cat for comfort. Turns out in her sadness, she had forgotten about the cat. I found its remains being eaten by ants and birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 437

By Anonymous - 15/09/2016 00:35 - United States - Nottingham

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 161

You deserved it 808

Next

Top comments

Chazzster 28

Monday 25 July 2022 3:30

Open a can of tuna next time and let the cat see and smell it. Cat will come to the tuna and you can pick up cat and tuna at the same time.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 25 July 2022 3:47

Hence the expression "herding cats." Which can be so frustrating it leads to hurting cats.

Comments

Chazzster 28

Monday 25 July 2022 3:30

Open a can of tuna next time and let the cat see and smell it. Cat will come to the tuna and you can pick up cat and tuna at the same time.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 25 July 2022 3:47

Hence the expression "herding cats." Which can be so frustrating it leads to hurting cats.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 865

You deserved it 62 130

Today, while trying to sleep after a night shift, workers came to hook up city sewage service, firing up drills and shouting. An hour later, my child woke me up to tattle on her sister. Just as I was drifting to sleep yet again, the smoke alarm battery started chirping. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 350

You deserved it 227

The Top

Today, I'm visiting my wife's home country for the first time. To avoid the spicy street food, I bought something labelled "Fruit salad" from a street vendor. I didn't know even Pakistani fruit salad can be very spicy too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 362

Today, I told my sister I felt like her friends didn't like me, since they were ignoring my questions, opinions, etc., in the bridesmaids' chat, but were all over each other's messages. She kicked me from her bridal party, saying her friends wouldn't want me at the bridal shower and bachelorette party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 140

Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 051

You deserved it 1 532

Today, I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend I was taking my kids to my mother's until he has decided if he wants to carry on being a boyfriend and stepfather. While we were gone, he apparently realised how good his life could be without us, and dumped me. I fucked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 1 500

Today, after shopping alone at a grocery store, I was taking my groceries back to my car when a kid grabbed one of my bags and ran. Deciding not to risk leaving the rest of my groceries stranded, I didn't chase him. Later, I realized that was the bag my credit card was in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 707

You deserved it 17 355

Today, an overweight coworker of mine was saying that her favorite mythical creatures was Mermaids, because she considers them graceful, carefree and aesthetically beautiful, like her. I absentmindedly blurted out, “Not with that body.” The word “Sorry” didn’t cut it for the write up I received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 3 166