Dogs, Injury and Work: Snappy

Snappy

By DamnDogs - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work as a groomer's assistant, my boss said something that I didn't catch as I went to take a leash off a dog. I looked at my boss and said, "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 743

You deserved it 5 732

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By MikeIsMaster - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 585

You deserved it 5 359

Bad hair day

By Tony - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 329

You deserved it 2 642

Confused?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 177

You deserved it 35 894

Stoner in disguise

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rowlett

Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 432

You deserved it 2 930

Tasty

By chew toy - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I went to see my sister and took a couple of dog biscuits for her dog. I forgot about them until later when I realised I had a hole in my pocket, near my crotch. The dog pointed this out by chomping my balls to get to the biscuits. My attempts to remove him resulted in more vigorous chewing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 552

You deserved it 962

Early warning

By Hreyes - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 018

You deserved it 2 228

Brain worms

By smooth - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 880

You deserved it 19 106

The left hand, the right hand

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 828

You deserved it 42 516

By Anonymous - 26/11/2013 19:05 - United States - New York

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 880

You deserved it 5 301

Welcome back

By pixie_pix13 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I came back to work after being out for a week. As I walked to the back of the store, I threw my hands up and yelled, "I'm back bitches". Right after I said it, I noticed my boss was behind me. I was then taken to the office and wrote up for foul language on my first day back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 3 430

Gingerly 0

Friday 20 November 2009 18:33

I used to be a groomer's assistant, trust me it's always the little fluffy ones that'll be the most trouble.

Erindub 0

Friday 20 November 2009 19:14

I HATE those tiny ass dogs. Theres like a billion of them in the trendy ass neighborhood I live in in LA. I just wanna drop kick them all. They are so annoying but not any more annoying than their stuck up owners who I'd like to kick too! Dogs DO NOT belong in the grocery store!

Comments

Arin_Wolfe 2

Saturday 21 November 2009 2:51

lol been there with a grumpy chin. ******* tiny dogs.

blastvortex 3

Saturday 21 November 2009 20:26

Ouch. You should have listened. You learned the hard way this time - let there not be a next one. YDI.

Love_That_Pittie 0

Monday 23 November 2009 7:10

In the grooming room, there are 3 blow dryers, a hydrosurge (a pump mechanism that basically "power-washes" the dogs) and two high-powered hand-held dryers, not to mention dogs barking constantly. Unless you have super-human hearing, most people have to repeat themselves two or three times to be heard when any of the aforementioned equipment is turned on. I'm not trying to make excuses, merely pointing out that it's very difficult to hear anything at all there.

Love_That_Pittie 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 0:47

It was as I was taking the leash off the dog when she warned me. By the time I asked her to repeat herself (which was right away), the dog was already going for my hand. As I'm sure many people know, these things happen in a fraction of a second!

Cand1eJack 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 20:18

You should have just killed the dog - it doesn't deserve to live after a stunt like that.

MisterComedy 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 1:38

Funny fluffy fury! Cute...but seriously get over it

loari 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 23:40

I loathe tiny dogs. This is why I have great danes (who would probably just steamroller you with love rather than bite you). Everyone is petrified to death of them. All they want is a hug :( On the other hand, a friend had a psychotic yorkie that liked to deglove your fingers (or try to). I've never met such a bloodthirsty little mongrel. Yet every time we went on a walk, everyone was all over it. My clothing was frequently flecked with blood because of this.

Iheardthat 7

Sunday 28 August 2011 17:07

No, **** the owners life. Hopefully it doesn't get put down

mkcherry 14

Tuesday 26 March 2013 21:21

i never understand why owners drop of their misbehaved tiny monsters for the groomers to deal with. If you have enough forethought to tell the groomer your POS dog bites then have the presence of mind to bring a muzzle for the little beast. I loathe small yappy dogs they are almost all inbred little monsters and the owners don't correct their behavior because they're so small they think they cant hurt anything. I live in a nice neighborhood and every woman and teenage girl seems to have one of these little dogs.