Poopoo peepee and Kids: Lowkey

Lowkey

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 19:04 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her, "Just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and then turned to me to yell, "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 380

You deserved it 62 641

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Same thing different taste

By seethroughpee - 06/05/2015 05:22 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 289

You deserved it 3 984

By shizzy09 - 13/04/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 504

You deserved it 5 137

By Lexi - 20/11/2010 19:07 - Canada

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 427

You deserved it 7 280

By Anonymous - 28/05/2013 23:01 - United States - El Paso

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 532

You deserved it 48 275

In my day…

By thanks dad - 01/08/2020 02:02

Today, we were slowly introducing my daughter to the pool to help her get over her terrible fear of water. My father-in-law scoffed, called us pussies, and tossed my daughter straight into the water. When I threw him out, he insisted he was just trying to teach her to swim "the right way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 224

You deserved it 285

By embarassed - 25/05/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, my mother came up to me at swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 889

You deserved it 3 277

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 717

You deserved it 2 759

By sniper foxeh - 29/07/2018 01:30

Today, my younger sister and I were camping when, during the middle of the night, she asked me if I could take her to the toilets as she was scared. I told her to go by herself or go behind the tent. Thirty seconds later, she peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 4 486

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 12:03

Today, I told my mom I was going swimming with friends. She told me, in front of them, not to go into the deep end unless there was an adult around because I'm not old enough to swim on my own. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 203

Teaching moment

By poolboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "But I just peed in that water." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 628

You deserved it 9 387

twenty2182 0

Friday 17 July 2009 1:27

...and everyone swam away

bambi77 0

Friday 17 July 2009 1:31

by an anonymous man?

Comments

twenty2182 0

Friday 17 July 2009 1:27

...and everyone swam away

kewlcat 0

Friday 17 July 2009 2:24

why did it say mom when you're a man

Imawhalerider 0

Friday 17 July 2009 3:38

because it was the father dummass

englishmuffin 0

Friday 17 July 2009 4:18

Are you calling the daughter an "it?"

MsTs1 0

Friday 17 July 2009 4:23

because the man, OP, is a fagget , or how gays say, a homosexual

girandwogpig 0

Friday 17 July 2009 5:43

....how can he be gay if he has a daughter? Just wondering....

Sambo110 0

Friday 17 July 2009 7:14

Are you serious #58? Wow...

christopherlove 0

Friday 17 July 2009 7:17

Wow, 38, 45, 46 and 58 all fail hard.

SoFaded80 0

Friday 17 July 2009 7:45

lol or is it u whos the dumBass

persiancutie 0

Friday 17 July 2009 10:25

i agree why does it say MOM if he is a man?!

Terilyn4500 0

Friday 17 July 2009 11:12

thast what i was wandering too

divineinstrument 2

Friday 17 July 2009 12:38

SO DAMN CONFUSED!!! Here are the possibilities in order of likeliness: 1) The dad (OP) told his daughter to pee in the lake, but the daughter still asked the question to her mum 2) The OP is a woman, and accidentally clicked 'man' when typing the FML 3) The OP accidentally typed "MOM" instead of "DAD" Even if two homosexual men have a kid (which is possible #58. Ever heard of adoption? Surrogacy would be another option I guess), I doubt the kid would call one of the men "dad" and the other "mum". That just wouldn't make a jot of sense. More likely the kid would just call the men by their first name.

xxxerror 0

Friday 17 July 2009 16:27

and didnt change the option from man to woman probably

regalarius 0

Friday 17 July 2009 16:29

#85 - I have heard of that, though - the more effimiate one is referred to with feminine pronouns. Also, OP: YDI, that's not cool.

boogersyum 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 6:18

Maybe the mother came to the lake as well.

jisaac09 25

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:29

Well, im guessing that, like all good parents, this guy has never exposed himself to this little girl so she dont know if hes a man or not cause he wears women's clothing and uses the "Ladies" room..... So i say, ur a good transvestite for not reveling ur junk to kids, but maybe u should sit her down and have a little talk about "mommy" likes to go to gay bars, when shes old enough to know.....

xocourtxo 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 7:45

umm have you ever wondered maybe it could be the mother writting on er husbands account. ?

Alishmc 0

Sunday 2 May 2010 10:08

#58 ... dumbest reasoning... I have ever heard... ever.

fadingfaith 4

Monday 13 June 2011 2:18

She could be adopted.

qwillis98 20

Tuesday 24 July 2012 3:41

Why does every one assume they are gay?

Imawhalerider 0

Friday 17 July 2009 1:28

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

NEkoiNU 18

Monday 8 June 2015 8:37

Why not?

bartender_fml 0

Friday 17 July 2009 1:29

Oooh man. You signed yourself up for that by having a kid though haha

bambi77 0

Friday 17 July 2009 1:31

by an anonymous man?

dancin303 0

Friday 17 July 2009 3:15

so it totally happened to someone else at the lake and he took this to make it his own. i dont believe its FAKE. its just not his fml. but dude change it to dad. or the person accidently selected man instead of woman

khatuba 0

Friday 17 July 2009 7:46

maybe the dad told her to, but the kid asked her mom. nothing hard to understand, you guys.

blackbyrd 0

Monday 20 July 2009 21:23

I am the person who wrote this FML... I chose anonymous, I am in fact a woman, therefore I am the MOTHER. Not a big freaking deal... I took my daughter to the lake, by myself. Everyone happy? Good.

jisaac09 25

Saturday 2 January 2010 20:34

Post-op or pre-op??? (lol, read prior post)

pokurfayce 0

Friday 17 July 2009 1:33

ydi

gizmo_987 0

Friday 17 July 2009 5:16

Wow, way to be a lazy parent. I agree, YDI

kirbz 0

Friday 17 July 2009 1:34

never say stuff like that to your kids -.- think before you say

laurraaa_fml 0

Friday 17 July 2009 1:34

why is the OP a man...?

Azellia 15

Thursday 25 September 2014 20:20

I noticed that too. Maybe she's using her husband's or boyfriend's account

razzumfrazzum 0

Friday 17 July 2009 1:38

The kid's pee is probably the most sanitary thing in the lake so it really was ok. It does kinda suck that the kid wasn't aware of the fact that she was supposed to be discreet but hey she's a kid :D

diet_otaku 0

Friday 17 July 2009 4:25

not to mention god knows how many other creatures pee in the lake on a daily basis. people pee in swimming pools all the time, i fail to see what the big deal is about peeing in a lake.