Porn, Wanker and Intimacy: Sneaky hand shandy - FML

Sneaky hand shandy

By Skylan - 13/11/2008 10:31 - France

Spicy

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 797

You deserved it 58 940

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Same thing different taste

Surprise !

By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Spicy

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 2 593

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Franklin Park

Spicy

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 405

You deserved it 43 187

By lunarboy - 17/02/2009 00:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 704

You deserved it 68 953

Class dismissed

By Anonymous - 27/05/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I was watching porn with no headphones, because my roommate had left for work. He didn’t fill me in that his girlfriend was, one, even over at our place, and two was using the room next to me to teach her third grade class. Yeah. I’m going to get headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 1 164

Definitely done that

By Anonymous - 18/10/2019 04:00

Today, at work, I put my earphones in to listen to some music. An hour later, I realised I never pressed play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 1 178

Masterclass

By SadOral - 03/07/2019 00:01

Spicy

Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 588

You deserved it 889

Stimulating

By Wow - 13/03/2012 04:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 594

You deserved it 8 897

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Spicy

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 2 037

NSFW

By Pornstartled - 03/11/2022 14:00 - Netherlands - Zutphen

Spicy

Today, my manager called when I was watching porn. I picked up after pausing the video, but somehow the video kept playing. I'm pretty sure she definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 1 376

Caught in the act

By MeAgainDr - 08/08/2023 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Spicy

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 761

Next

Top comments

fmlplzthks 0

Monday 9 March 2009 7:35

if you guys sleep in separate bedrooms wtf else does she expect you to do...

ThorsSon 0

Monday 9 March 2009 22:38

#3 said basically what I was thinking... "she came out of HER bedroom"? FYL for sure dude.

Comments

Zoeeee1234 0

Saturday 31 July 2010 9:22

how would you not be able to tell they were not plugged in correctly earlier?

Cjmw 7

Sunday 12 September 2010 10:45

Lol at "her bedroom" do you guys sleep in different rooms or something?

demonkisses 0

Friday 24 September 2010 0:59

YOURE AN ASS WATCHING OTHER NAKED WOMEN WHEN YOU HAVE A WIFE HELL YOU SHOULDNT HAVE A WIFE!!! IF YOU WANTED TO WATCH OTHER NAKED WOMEN YOU SHOLDNT HAVE GOTTEN MARRIED ASS HOLE

Superflyshyguy 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 13:10

Butt hurt much.

Nave42 7

Sunday 13 May 2012 4:46

It depends on the relationship and what your partner thinks. Have you thought about the possiblity she was actually okay with it?

soccergoal 0

Sunday 21 November 2010 2:57

next time watch it when she is not at home.

whoisthisgirl 4

Saturday 23 April 2011 0:36

I agree with you.

Candisalis 0

Friday 29 April 2011 10:05

why the crap would you be watching **** when you have a woman right there??

xNephilim 18

Wednesday 15 February 2012 5:13

Because a lot of guys have a very high sex drive while a lot of women don't? If your partner doesn't feel like having sex, you'll find other ways of pleasuring yourself and that includes **** for a lot of people.

togepii 0

Saturday 28 May 2011 4:12

turn off the volume next time

hottottie 0

Monday 30 May 2011 22:48

it's just ****, what's the big deal? some people..

jjmartin 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 3:52

I'd find it funny personally. not into ****, but never would I get mad at my guy for it. well unless I was trying to have sex with him, and he chose to watch **** instead.

Kiirst_mt1994 26

Wednesday 19 October 2011 19:13

what wife would let their husband watch ****? Unless you were a lucky man

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The Top

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 692

You deserved it 3 321

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 96

The Top

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 773

Today, my mom yelled at me because I didn't hear to her calls while I was listening to music. She told me she wouldn't trust me again, that I'm worthless. When I began crying, she told me that I was psychologically manipulate her. It's been like this all the time lately. I can't wait to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 151

Today, after working at my summer job for 3 weeks, I was informed that I was too young to work there. I had contacted them 3 months prior and had given them my birthdate multiple times. I had also attended a special training in their corporate HQ, which I drove 7 hours both ways to get to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 141

You deserved it 335

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 557

You deserved it 12 175

Today, my sister made her engagement official on Facebook. When I shared the post to spread the word, people didn't read her boyfriend's name, and I started getting questions on why my sister and I were getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 332

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 909

You deserved it 3 913