Intimacy: Sounds hot - FML

Sounds hot

By oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 014

You deserved it 9 488

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/01/2010 15:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 338

You deserved it 7 932

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 542

You deserved it 19 407

By waitforit - 23/04/2009 11:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 374

You deserved it 93 769

By Ah - 08/03/2010 05:42 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend said we should re-enact a porn episode he saw. I jokingly said yes. He had an outfit and everything. I thought it was going to be fun, until he started playing Bon Jovi in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 840

You deserved it 6 364

That escalated badly

By Anonymous - 19/03/2020 09:03

Spicy

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 403

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 379

You deserved it 3 435

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By Erik Monkey - 27/04/2022 07:00 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 259

By Anonymous - 02/11/2009 14:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 142

You deserved it 5 116

By erpuchi - 01/12/2010 01:52 - Dominican Republic

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 524

You deserved it 7 034

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 857

You deserved it 6 269

Next

Top comments

MysticMonkey 9

Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:02

You're ******* a pornstar? Not all bad!

thehumanlyhuman 7

Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:03

The fact that she suggested it to you makes me laugh. She must be pretty proud of her performance...

Comments

therealjc_fml 14

Monday 2 December 2013 2:30

Sorry you had to find out about me that way!

Knarf_fml 10

Thursday 5 December 2013 11:08

Congrats! It counts & #WINNING

Dat_Handsome_Guy 3

Saturday 14 December 2013 19:59

:O you're dating **** star

neotholic 11

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:15

Bro how is this a bad thing like seriously you get to **** a **** star. Seriously she would do so much to you. How could you not like it!

B0n351337loser 7

Tuesday 11 February 2014 9:59

I am not sure how I would feel about this. I'm sorry dude.

Izabel12 7

Saturday 26 April 2014 5:02

That doesn't sound so bad lol.

shaunr40k 20

Monday 26 May 2014 18:30

I don't think I would complain but hey to each his own

sfxscull 9

Thursday 19 November 2015 4:17

that's just creepy .

xxhdxx 11

Sunday 31 January 2016 6:07

was it two girls one cup

ifuckuprandomly 28

Saturday 18 June 2016 2:06

I'm intensely jealous. Congrats OP!

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Keywords

My ex Awkward Love AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Work Money DIY Parenting Kids Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 3 461

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

The Top

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 576

You deserved it 3 410

Today, in an attempt to get some guidance from my college advisor, I emailed her, saying I was contemplating going to another school because I felt so helpless about my GPA, and was sure I wouldn't get my major. I asked for advice on raising it. She gave me instructions on how to drop out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 362

You deserved it 7 405

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 876

You deserved it 3 367

Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 423

You deserved it 60 266

Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 616

You deserved it 5 509

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 645

You deserved it 3 579