Parenting, Relatable, Awkward and Kids: Straight to jail

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 002

You deserved it 70 976

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Same thing different taste

Stranger danger!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 710

You deserved it 52 182

You people are twisted!

By pledonasm - 15/03/2015 16:11 - India - Thane

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 108

You deserved it 2 274

By lilmamma - 05/11/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 140

You deserved it 50 423

The Headmaster Ritual

By angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 138

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 07:26

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 162

You deserved it 9 111

By WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM - 18/11/2012 21:22 - United States - Endicott

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 897

You deserved it 1 927

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 510

You deserved it 295

By Zora - 15/07/2012 23:13 - Norway - Bergen

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 281

You deserved it 3 793

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 552

You deserved it 48 218

Bounce off

By clumsy girl - 25/09/2023 12:30 - United States - Austin

Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 752

jellybeans4833 7

Friday 15 July 2011 9:06

you can't tell the difference between your own child? Sad.

allitaylor 4

Friday 15 July 2011 9:06

bet her parents loved you for that..

Comments

JesterMarcus 0

Friday 15 July 2011 19:03

Please put your children up for adoption, you are obviously not responsible enough to take care of anything more delicate than a cactus.

JesterMarcus 0

Friday 15 July 2011 19:10

Please put your children up for adoption, you are obviously not responsible enough to take care of anything more delicate than a cactus.

hateevryone 14

Friday 15 July 2011 19:19

how the hell could you not know your own child?

RSL1198 0

Friday 15 July 2011 20:15

you asshole don't you know who ur own kid is

pressplay4me 0

Friday 15 July 2011 20:43

how can you not tell the difference between your own child?

HeartAndSoul2011 0

Friday 15 July 2011 20:45

ha, GREAT parenting skills...NOT!!!! dude you fail at life..and where was your actual child during this?? probably wondering wtf is going on, while pointing, laughing and then wondering who the **** is the guy carrying him away in all the commotion is.....you need help, fyl

rockinroyalty 0

Friday 15 July 2011 20:47

YDI for not knowing how your own child looks.

HungerGames95 13

Friday 15 July 2011 21:10

that poor traumatized child... I'm sure the kids parents appreciated that. what a great parent!

iAccidentally 8

Friday 15 July 2011 21:13

What great parenting... can you not recognise your own child? Unless it was some freak circumstance where the other kid was wearing the exact same clothes, this shouldn't be a problem. And even if there was another kid wearing the same clothes, surely their face, hair, or voice could have been an indicator?