Surprise strike

By Anonymous - 28/06/2020 20:02

Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 189

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Same thing different taste

By #201 - 05/02/2009 13:23 - United States

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 472

You deserved it 16 554

By MJ3105 - 07/05/2009 11:36 - Israel

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 170

You deserved it 153 049

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 895

You deserved it 3 639

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 383

You deserved it 1 120

By fencernick - 22/04/2009 10:40 - United States

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 728

You deserved it 9 462

By AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 612

You deserved it 646

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 020

You deserved it 97 596

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 300

By cathugger - 13/07/2019 16:30

Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 130

By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 949

You deserved it 4 834

Win 9

Sunday 28 June 2020 20:41

That’s unfortunate, and it probably felt disgusting. :/ Although everyone has been pooped on by a bird at least once so common courtesy would be to not judge you for it.

BigSissy 14

Monday 29 June 2020 5:59

Where is Richard when you need him?

Comments

Win 9

Sunday 28 June 2020 20:41

That’s unfortunate, and it probably felt disgusting. :/ Although everyone has been pooped on by a bird at least once so common courtesy would be to not judge you for it.

bloopaloop 27

Sunday 28 June 2020 23:58

Shitty situation, anyone??? I’m waiting for it.

BigSissy 14

Monday 29 June 2020 5:59

Where is Richard when you need him?

Jodiju 4

Monday 29 June 2020 8:24

And you couldn't put the food down to deal with the poop because..?

stormy0307 16

Monday 29 June 2020 14:43

Technically dive bombing is when a plane is flying downward towards a target so that the bomb travels more vertically than horizontally (easier to aim that way in the pre guided bomb era). So unless the bird was flying downwards at you it’s not dive bombing. If the bird was flying level it’s horizontal bombing and if the bird was flying upwards it’s technically toss bombing which increases the horizontal travel of the payload after release but is more difficult to aim properly.

Taylor Caldwell 10

Tuesday 30 June 2020 17:50

Are you worried people think you asked the pigeon to shit on you? In all likeliness people would have felt bad for you knowing it sucks and wasn’t your fault you got pooped on.