Embarrassing, Awkward and Work: Suspicious

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 782

You deserved it 99 808

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Same thing different taste

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 387

You deserved it 1 845

Bad hair day

By Tony - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 329

You deserved it 2 642

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 439

You deserved it 2 181

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 862

You deserved it 4 723

Why did you tell me that?

By mymomplucksbutthair - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 278

You deserved it 3 491

Paranoid

By MaddyN - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 042

You deserved it 3 537

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 3 869

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 2 301

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 897

You deserved it 61 546

Rash decision

By FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 767

You deserved it 4 386

TeenTiger 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:03

Could you tell us the location of your work place so we can all avoid it. Thanks.

VerticalOrbit 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:10

Ok, so, you put your hand IN YOUR PANTS? I'm not a guy, but most guys I've seen that get an itch, usually don't put their hand in their pants. You're doing it wrong.

Comments

gir321 0

Friday 10 April 2009 20:45

thats why you shave the thing!

N0Luck 0

Friday 10 April 2009 23:22

Well there's a souvenir for that nice lady

effyouceeekay 0

Friday 10 April 2009 23:46

i am pretty sure everyone agrees with me don't scratch ypur junk at work. let e eryone .learn the lesson now.

arashixarashi 0

Saturday 11 April 2009 6:05

You actually touch your genitals when you get an itch there when you can simply scratch over your clothing in public? So one could see you shoving your hands down your pants? Nasty.

Gotz_No_Love 1

Monday 13 April 2009 1:25

why the hell were you scratching directly in public?

hockeygirl202 0

Monday 13 April 2009 3:58

yeah im with #2. thats just nasty.

Rockyio 0

Monday 13 April 2009 22:25

wow..are you people serious? lol. give the guy a break! Sometimes you have to go in.. it doesn't say he did it in public.. im sure nobody else was around (or at least I would like to assume) And maybe he did wash his hands, but it somehow got caught on his clothing and then fell as he was working lol. Regardless...THIS FML IS HILARIOUS!!! lol

Boxtop5000 0

Tuesday 14 April 2009 10:17

Hopefully you learned to not scratch your balls in public.

Go_Home 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 0:47

HAHAHAHAHHAH. #2, YOU'RE ******* HILARIOUS. And you should take a look at your hands.

Go_Home 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 0:52

Also, how unprofessional of you. I would sue you for digging in and itching, then placing your dirty paws on my picture. The woman wants a nice picture, not one stained with your pubes.