Wanker and Intimacy: Terms and conditions - FML

Terms and conditions

By albinoalligator - 04/07/2016 00:48 - United States - Elkton

Spicy

Today, I declined an apartment because it didn't have a detachable shower head that I could use for my enjoyment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 388

You deserved it 20 233

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Same thing different taste

By sad - 25/10/2011 10:15 - Reserved

Spicy

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 151

You deserved it 36 579

By Georgia - 13/05/2011 01:02

Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 567

You deserved it 6 063

By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 21:54 - United States - Spring

Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 335

You deserved it 2 191

Things hate me

By WaychulMonster - 25/10/2022 10:00

Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 108

By BadatDIY - 16/11/2009 14:04 - United Kingdom

Today, the maintenance workers finally came to my apartment to fix the shower-head that kept falling off the wall. I was annoyed because they had replaced it a few weeks ago and since then, it'd been a problem. They went into my bathroom, turned the shower head around, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 977

You deserved it 27 705

By ravestradamus - 12/10/2009 12:34 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 242

You deserved it 22 778

Headshot

By home owner - 20/08/2010 06:14 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 740

You deserved it 3 363

By That escalated quickly. - 28/08/2017 20:00

Today, I was excited by the thought of the bathroom in my rental being replaced after the plumber advised that the leak can't be easily fixed. Instead, the owner has decided to fully renovate and is kicking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 965

You deserved it 340

Lonely

By Anonymous - 13/01/2012 03:50 - United States

Today, I left my empty shower running so I could pretend I didn't still live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 697

You deserved it 29 977

By abrazama - 02/10/2009 14:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 794

You deserved it 37 273

Next

Top comments

Stopa 1

Monday 4 July 2016 10:07

You can...buy a new showerhead? Like they're not even expensive or difficult to install?

itzhazen 3

Monday 4 July 2016 10:02

keeping your priorities straight I see

Comments

EwahWeeWah 21

Monday 4 July 2016 13:48

That's just sad.

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 4 July 2016 14:35

Seriously? That can't be the only reason you declined the apartment. For crying out loud, go online and find a website that features adult toys and look for a waterproof toy. Or ask the landlord if you're allowed to install a new shower head as long as you put the old one back when you move out.

kat2943 20

Monday 4 July 2016 15:30

You could buy one and replace it. It's really not that difficult...

vikky538 28

Monday 4 July 2016 15:34

You can buy a ***** that's way lot easier for your enjoyment

saturn5662001 10

Monday 4 July 2016 15:41

Can't you buy one and switch it out?

graphicstyle7 17

Monday 4 July 2016 15:59

You do know you can go to any Walmart, buy a shower head, and just install it until you leave the apartment, right?

Arkham_Callabero 15

Monday 4 July 2016 17:02

Get an electric toothbrush or a Playstation controller

LevelupKid 8

Tuesday 5 July 2016 4:16

First of all, why ate you considering this? Second, its called the dualshock for a reason

dihannasaurus 9

Monday 4 July 2016 17:07

how ia this a fml?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 4 July 2016 17:14

Sounds like someone has some issues. Like others have said, it's easy to get a new shower head and install it. Or you could always buy a vibrator, though they're a lot more expensive.

sleepyolivia 14

Monday 4 July 2016 19:31

Nah, I've seen new $10 vibrators online before. Not sure about quality though, as I've never actually bought a $10 vibrator.

Light_My_Afire 6

Monday 4 July 2016 23:46

Do they sell used vibrators? That seems at the least unsanitary. ..

love_me_electric 20

Wednesday 6 July 2016 5:12

The first two vibrators I ever bought were on sale for $5 each online and they were amazing (and yes they were brand new, I would never buy a used toy)

racejunkie 4

Monday 4 July 2016 17:14

Buy one!

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You deserved it 192

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I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 1 188

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I agree, your life sucks 34 091

You deserved it 7 591

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I agree, your life sucks 48 619

You deserved it 6 127

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I agree, your life sucks 12 393

You deserved it 1 155

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I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 110

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I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 116