Love, Video games, Break-ups and My ex: Thanks, I guess - FML

Thanks, I guess

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 10:08 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 160

You deserved it 8 519

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Same thing different taste

Mario Kart is serious business

By Anonymous - 25/08/2014 05:44 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 855

You deserved it 8 603

By I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 121

You deserved it 4 643

By Vampire Teabag - 12/02/2015 16:25 - United States - El Paso

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 822

You deserved it 3 477

Domestic

By baberuth - 19/06/2015 22:21 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 867

You deserved it 4 506

By Ari - 16/06/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 895

You deserved it 3 722

By thatCanadianGuy7 - 29/06/2009 19:55 - Canada

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 974

You deserved it 5 051

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 056

You deserved it 8 846

By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 21:53 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 411

You deserved it 3 505

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 098

You deserved it 4 196

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 900

You deserved it 3 067

Next

Top comments

Stepherrss 0

Monday 3 January 2011 19:37

& This is a FML why? Were you expecting your EX to stay the night and **** your brains out? Grow up, she came over as a friend, to help out, not to screw you to make you feel better.

PhillyFox 0

Monday 3 January 2011 18:52

And then you realized there's a reason she's your ex.

Comments

Primus_fml 0

Monday 3 January 2011 20:54

I guess by "console" she really meant she would play on your console.

djmigues 7

Monday 3 January 2011 21:31

I see what you did there.

charloemm 7

Monday 3 January 2011 20:57

Auggggh. Seriously? If you need a **** to get your mind off of a break up, then don't try and use your friends, go find a hooker. If that's all you're keeping her around for, it's cruel. She's a person, not your right hand.

sleepystoner 0

Monday 3 January 2011 21:08

Ydi for sucking at mariokart

mjammal 0

Monday 3 January 2011 21:49

I didn't know Mario kart was one word

bethany_camille 0

Monday 3 January 2011 22:29

why did you have an ex comfort you after a breakup??

Stepherrss 0

Monday 3 January 2011 23:11

well obviously she was there as a friend, she obviously still cares about him enough to try and cheer him up, he should take that as it is and stfu. It doesn't mean she was obligated to sleep with him lol.

mante_fml 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 1:06

this was stupid fml

lilbigwill99 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 1:25

lol why were you playing Mario cart?

bellaec825 4

Tuesday 4 January 2011 1:57

ur lucky she came over at all to comfort u i mean this is ur ex wouldnt it be awkward if u guys hugged??? so instead u lost to a girl at mario carts!!!! lol

kainpwnsu 19

Tuesday 4 January 2011 2:03

Apparently, she thought you may have left you balls in your late girlfriend's purse... and discovered she was right. Get over it.

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The Top

Today, my family surprised me for my birthday by showing up with a chocolate cake and my ex-boyfriend from back home. They all forgot I'm allergic to chocolate, that I broke up with him about a year ago, and that he’s been trying to win me back ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 155

You deserved it 125

Today, I wore press on nails and I work in a very professional setting where my hands are 24/7 visible to our clients. I've had multiple nails go flying off at various inappropriate times and my nail glue has been my BFF for 2 weeks. I had to go buy another nail glue bottle to make it through my second week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 538

The Top

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 070

You deserved it 43 449

Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 486

You deserved it 3 394

Today, during divorce proceedings, I decided to have my kids DNA tested. Neither of my kids are mine. My daughter's real father is unknown but my son's DNA identifies him as related to me, but not as my son, so he’s more likely my nephew, meaning his dad is one of my brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 988

You deserved it 151

Today, my parents screamed at me for being diagnosed as depressed, because I’m not allowed to be depressed, because me being depressed makes them look like bad parents who couldn’t raise a happy, normal child, so I have to be happy or I’ll be punished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 144

Today, I sneezed and ended up in the emergency room. How? Apparently the sneeze dislodged a kidney stone that is now slowly, painfully working its way from my kidney to my bladder so that I can piss it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 023

You deserved it 1 989

Today, my room-mate came out of the bathroom, tossed a Playboy on the coffee table, threw away a used condom, dug his hand into my bag of Doritos, and washed his hands. In that order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 531

You deserved it 4 747