Love, Video games, Break-ups and My ex: Thanks, I guess - FML

Thanks, I guess

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 10:08 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 156

You deserved it 8 518

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Mario Kart is serious business

By Anonymous - 25/08/2014 05:44 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 847

You deserved it 8 600

By I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 116

You deserved it 4 643

By Vampire Teabag - 12/02/2015 16:25 - United States - El Paso

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 815

You deserved it 3 475

Domestic

By baberuth - 19/06/2015 22:21 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 862

You deserved it 4 503

By Ari - 16/06/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 886

You deserved it 3 719

By thatCanadianGuy7 - 29/06/2009 19:55 - Canada

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 968

You deserved it 5 046

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 045

You deserved it 8 843

By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 21:53 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 408

You deserved it 3 505

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 092

You deserved it 4 194

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 895

You deserved it 3 067

Next

Top comments

Stepherrss 0

Monday 3 January 2011 19:37

& This is a FML why? Were you expecting your EX to stay the night and **** your brains out? Grow up, she came over as a friend, to help out, not to screw you to make you feel better.

PhillyFox 0

Monday 3 January 2011 18:52

And then you realized there's a reason she's your ex.

Comments

Doortje 29

Tuesday 4 January 2011 23:07

No you wouldn't Sirin, don't pretend be so violent. We all know you still play with barbies and that you kiss your entire Furby collection goodnight before you go to bed.

Sirin_fml 46

Tuesday 4 January 2011 23:09

That depends on how you define "play", "kiss", and "go to bed". "Put in the microwave", "punch", and "sleep in a coffin" are accurate substitutions.

Doortje 29

Tuesday 4 January 2011 23:11

Don't deny it, I'm looking at the pictures right now. You can "substitute" all you want, but a picture says more than a 1000 words.

Sirin_fml 46

Tuesday 4 January 2011 23:16

Oh shit, this is a double post LULZ! Swear to god it's annoying when that happens, even though it's just my own stupidity and forgetfulness in hitting the reply button. But anyway, why are you looking through my infos? Don't make me get a restraining order, dammit.

Sirin_fml 46

Tuesday 4 January 2011 23:16

Well I suppose I'll just have to sacrifice Zebidee to appease the gods of war then.

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Wednesday 5 January 2011 3:49

#46 Damnit. *Puts Master Balls back in pocket*

Zebidee 8

Wednesday 5 January 2011 1:46

Oi! Since when do I get to be the one who is sacrificed?! It's not like there aren't enough virgins on this site...

paganboy666 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 5:57

" console" like the wii console bro read in between the lines

dreadbeat69 12

Tuesday 25 January 2011 12:03

That's a ******* hilarious comment.

yorik_brown 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 13:35

I choose to believe she came over to kick you while you were down. This girl sounds epic.

Denzel0 0

Friday 7 January 2011 16:09

Lool FML needs a like button.

Whoadee 0

Thursday 27 January 2011 8:14

dude master those green shells the when she thinks she's in the lead Blam! blue shell bitch.

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Keywords

Holidays Miscellaneous Family Thanksgiving Politics Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Suspicious Cheating Pregnancy Christmas Scary Sex Awkward Weddings Embarrassing Singing My ex Jealousy Friends Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Covid

The Top

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 389

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 413

The Top

Today, I had a job interview for the perfect job. My phone rang in my pocket. I’d forgotten to silence it. The worst part? The ringtone was a guy saying “Pussy!” on a continuous loop. The interviewer chewed me out for being “unprofessional” and kicked me out. I have no idea who set that ringtone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 1 178

Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 375

You deserved it 3 196

Today, we attended my daughter’s dance show. When they shut the lights off, my 2 year-old son started to sing “Happy Birthday”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 74

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 450

You deserved it 4 233

Today, my 6-month-old daughter decided she'd scream every time I'd answer her cries instead of her daddy. He just left for a 12-hour shift at work. Only 11 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 624

You deserved it 477

Today, I got screamed at on the toilet for telling the person who walked in on me to shut the door. My pants were around my ankles, I was holding a tampon, and the door was wide open as my mom and sister ran over to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 315

You deserved it 335