Love and Work: That's not how any of this works

That's not how any of this works

By Not your bulter - 25/04/2023 06:00

Today, my fiancée's life ambition is to become a "couch slug" so she presented me with a brilliant plan: She wants to go on medical leave from work and apply for disability payments. She's perfectly capable, just extremely lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 214

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Affection breakdown

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 143

By rissalynn - 15/07/2019 02:00

Today, my boyfriend's mother called me lazy. Her days consist of sitting on her couch watching Fox News. I'm a college athlete who also has a part-time job, yet I'm the lazy one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 842

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 09/06/2019 02:00

Today, my mother told me she's planning on taking the next two weeks "off". She is unemployed and on disability, and spends her days on the couch watching Netflix. Off from what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 166

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285

You deserved it 129

Burden

By Overworked - 11/05/2023 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my girlfriend suggested that she needs a "cuddle buddy" because I'm never home to spend with her. I have to work two jobs to pay the bills because she keeps calling in "sick" from her job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 174

On the move

By c-Ouch - 07/07/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 91

Bad omen

By camb - 29/05/2021 14:01

Today, my girlfriend, who recently moved in with me, has opted to sleep on the couch rather than in the same bed as me. She claims it’s because "her body" won’t let her fall asleep unless she’s alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 195

Get your act together

By Z…… - 14/11/2012 00:43 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 769

You deserved it 36 010

By Anonymous - 15/04/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, my aunt informed me that she thinks I'm faking the debilitating disease I've had for the past 13 years. Apparently she thinks I just don't want to go to college or get a job, and that I like living on disability. She also added that my entire extended family agrees with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 716

You deserved it 6 058

Short nap

By Anonymous - 10/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 118

Rake 15

Tuesday 25 April 2023 7:24

Are you sure that is the reason? Sometimes unattended medical or mental illnesses cause a lack of energy and motivation. Maybe you should talk to her and see where it comes from.

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 25 April 2023 18:37

RUN! … You don’t want to spend the rest of your life caring for someone too lazy to work… A real disability or retirement is one thing. People have them and deserve the assistance required to survive with that. Looking for a free ride with no effort on her part other than scheming to game the system unfairly is not an attitude solely related to work and employment.

Comments

Rake 15

Tuesday 25 April 2023 7:24

Are you sure that is the reason? Sometimes unattended medical or mental illnesses cause a lack of energy and motivation. Maybe you should talk to her and see where it comes from.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 25 April 2023 15:37

Sounds pretty good. If she makes it happen, perhaps she'd give the rest of us seminars on how to follow in her footsteps. Step One: Marry a Sucker With a Job Looking forward to the rest! She can do it via Zoom while sitting on her couch!

spinningrecords 14

Tuesday 25 April 2023 15:46

Good luck with that.

brownsugarxo 15

Tuesday 25 April 2023 16:14

have fun taking care of em for the rest of your life

Chazzster 28

Tuesday 25 April 2023 18:37

lalalaila777 24

Tuesday 25 April 2023 23:44

lazy or depressed? burned out? needing a break? if it bothers you so much, you don't have to stay with someone you insult, wouldn't you be embarrassed being married to something called a couch slug, as you describe her?