Miscellaneous: The candidate

The candidate

By anonymous - 05/09/2012 13:51 - Australia - Mittagong

Today, I had to give a speech as part of my campaign for school captain. I was rather happy with it and so I told another candidate my speech. Apparently it was a good idea as minutes later that same candidate stole my entire speech, leaving me looking like a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 943

You deserved it 37 813

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Same thing different taste

I'd like to thank…

By Jessey - 18/06/2009 13:05 - United Kingdom

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they'd actually called up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 803

You deserved it 47 925

By PollingLow - 10/05/2012 15:45 - United States - Decatur

Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 742

You deserved it 2 374

By Anonymous - 02/03/2010 14:45 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 817

You deserved it 8 575

By presidont - 18/10/2009 12:25 - Switzerland

Today, it was the elections for Student Council President. I decided to be nice and vote for the only other competitor because it was her birthday. I lost by one vote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 619

You deserved it 51 634

By oooooops - 23/03/2015 00:32 - United States

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 197

You deserved it 7 698

By Anonymous - 16/05/2009 13:06 - Canada

Today, I was selected to give my speech to the entire school. I was later told it had to be censored because it was inappropriate, even though I was just trying to make a point. My speech was on political correctness. My speech on political correctness was censored for political reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 029

You deserved it 5 103

Is this a stand up show?

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 20:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I had a big presentation at work and I was feeling really confident. I'd practiced it over and over and I knew it inside out. But when I got up to speak, I realized I had left my notes at home. I ended up winging it and it was a disaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 385

By hrs220 - 21/05/2016 21:55 - United States - Lake Zurich

Today, I gave a presentation for my final on class. While I was giving the speech my shirt strap broke. I ended up flashing everyone including the teacher. At least I got an A. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 892

You deserved it 1 529

By paula434 - 05/12/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, I gave a speech at a charity event in part to help with my shyness. Nobody told me I was standing on top of an air vent. It went on. My skirt flew up, revealing my underwear to 90 people. Nobody remembers the content of my speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 585

You deserved it 4 034

By Anonymous - 25/09/2014 12:18 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, we had a meeting at my job and we had to introduce new ideas to our boss. Earlier, I was talking to one of my close friends who also attended the meeting about my idea. As we start the meeting, she decides to steal my idea and take complete credit for it. My boss loves "her" idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 372

You deserved it 6 837

bayli 12

Wednesday 5 September 2012 18:58

...What did you expect to happen?

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 5 September 2012 18:59

If your competitor has the capability of memorising your entire speech after hearing it once, he probably deserved to win.

Comments

Kimitte 1

Thursday 6 September 2012 1:20

Why the **** would you tell another CANDIDATE your speech?..Obviously, they would steal at least something of it. YDI

snafu63 0

Thursday 6 September 2012 2:07

Seeing that you clearly don't make good decisions it is probably best that you don't get elected.

babalooisbabaloo 5

Thursday 6 September 2012 2:51

This looks like a plausible scene out of that movie, The Campaign.

marramrammar 2

Thursday 6 September 2012 3:05

Stupid move, but if you have your speech time stamped you can have that person disqualified for breaking honor policy!

betterdaysahead 14

Thursday 6 September 2012 3:42

YDI for. being that dumb don't run for office ever. you will give every thing away

DarkSanster 7

Thursday 6 September 2012 4:09

I can't believe you did that... What is wrong with you.

doglover100 28

Thursday 6 September 2012 4:17

You can't trust anyone.

doglover100 28

Thursday 6 September 2012 4:17

You can't trust anyone.

bigfootep 4

Thursday 6 September 2012 5:58

Dumbass

mayb3memor1es 4

Thursday 6 September 2012 7:19

I'm pretty sure she said that because Apple sued Samsung for copying them.. :P

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 247

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 82

The Top

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 770

You deserved it 2 237

Well that's adorable.

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 91

Today, I got a haircut for the first time in almost a year. I thought it looked really nice and made me look good. On my way to CVS, I ran into one of my friends. He examined me and said, "You look... like a crack whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 529

You deserved it 5 543

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 908

Today, a client hung up on me after calling me "Miss Proper" because I spoke too "clearly" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 66

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 868

You deserved it 5 033

The candidate

Same thing different taste

I'd like to thank…

Is this a stand up show?

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