Intimacy, Sex, Poopoo peepee and Gross: The geyser

The geyser

By Anonymous - 15/05/2020 23:00

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 982

You deserved it 407

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Same thing different taste

Mission successful

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 920

You deserved it 299

Feed me with your kiss

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 08:00

Today, while having missionary sex, my girl was reaching a climax. She kept screaming a bunch of things like, “Yes!”, “Don’t stop!”, “Keep going.” Well, at least until a giant booger fell straight from my nose into her mouth. Then the only thing she was screaming was that I needed to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 798

Girls will be girls

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 957

You deserved it 742

Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 222

You deserved it 404

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 418

You deserved it 761

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 120

You deserved it 13 417

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 06:03 - United States - Demorest

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 043

You deserved it 3 908

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 132

You deserved it 6 252

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 429

You deserved it 4 058

By :x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 918

You deserved it 5 360

Casper___t 14

Saturday 16 May 2020 0:36

You could say you ****** the shit out of her. In case you ever wanted to say that.

ViviMage 38

Saturday 16 May 2020 2:50

Empty yourselves out first before sex!

Comments

Sady_Ct 37

Friday 15 May 2020 5:01

🤢🤮

PawgPower 3

Friday 15 May 2020 23:25

Freaks will say it’s sexy

Casper___t 14

Saturday 16 May 2020 0:36

You could say you ****** the shit out of her. In case you ever wanted to say that.

ViviMage 38

Saturday 16 May 2020 2:50

Empty yourselves out first before sex!

Cowgirl1293 26

Saturday 16 May 2020 7:23

I laughed. I'm sorry, but I hope you both jumped in the shower to clean up.

7and7is 20

Saturday 16 May 2020 9:25

All my stories begin with how much I made her cum and how my amazing beard saved my life too.

P DarklyKira 14

Saturday 16 May 2020 18:49

What a shitty situation to be in

Adam Classen 2

Saturday 16 May 2020 20:33

you screwed the shit out of her!!!

lifeis4me 20

Sunday 17 May 2020 8:29

If you’re still with her that’s real love, because I don’t know how many people would be able to look at their partner the same

mylifebitches666 18

Sunday 17 May 2020 21:48

diarrhoea?

Keywords

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Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 57

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

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You deserved it 980

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 4 579

You deserved it 790

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 170

You deserved it 2 675

Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 452

You deserved it 1 724

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I agree, your life sucks 31 094

You deserved it 9 707

Today, I ran into one of my classmates from high school. She’s really annoying and she talks A LOT. Honestly all I wanted was some coffee and some loneliness before my class started, but she just kept talking and talking and wouldn’t leave me alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 170

Today, at a strategy session, my manager displayed a flowchart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 767

You deserved it 2 452

Same thing different taste

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