The other stage of grief

Anonymous - 06/10/2020 05:03

Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing for a few weeks is freaky. At her grandad's funeral, she got so upset she had to leave the room, only to drag me into the priest's office for a quick blowjob. Apparently, death turns her on. I had oral sex at a funeral. I’m going to Hell for sure. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

The little known stages of grief

Anonymous - 12/06/2022 22:00

Today, for some reason my girlfriend wanted to have sex in the bathroom at a family funeral. I’m sure that’s a sin, I mean… we definitely did it, so sorry Nana, but now I feel all wrong about it and I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell one day. FML

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Cast the first stone

Anonymous - 23/05/2013 17:48 - Romania - Buzau

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

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List of sins

Anonymous - 28/01/2022 04:58

Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing, and having lots of kinky sex with, I’m talking "confess to a priest or take to your grave" kind of kinky, is actually my cousin who moved abroad when she was two years-old, and only just recently moved back here. FML

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tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

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loserman - 29/04/2014 22:40 - United States - Frisco

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML

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How does she know?

Anonymous - 17/03/2021 08:00

Today, my future mother-in-law freaked out my very religious fiancé by telling him fornication is gonna send him to hell, because when I was with them in January we had sex every day for a month and she's still mad about it. FML

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SadPuppy - 22/05/2013 07:14 - United States

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

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Strange kink

Anonymous - 28/04/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he got a call from his best friend, whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzipped his pants and mouthed, "She won't know." FML

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Technicality

Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:24 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

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As good a time as any

stephanie - 28/09/2018 03:00

Today, my husband tried to use his "grief" over his grandmother's death to manipulate me into giving him a blowjob. In the toilets. During the funeral. With his family only a few yards down the hall crying their eyes out. What an asshole I married. An absolute asshole. FML

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RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 6 October 2020 5:35

Oh, yeah, but that's the least of your problems. You're going to have to become a serial killer to keep turning her on. If you don't have targets, I have some requests ;)

rotflqtms_ 21

Tuesday 6 October 2020 14:14

If it bothered you THAT much... you didn't have to pull out your dick for that *******. You could have walked away. It takes two. I'm sure she's not strong enough to hold you down while giving you a ******* that you didn't want... It takes two. You were as much a part of it as she was.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 6 October 2020 5:35

Oh, yeah, but that's the least of your problems. You're going to have to become a serial killer to keep turning her on. If you don't have targets, I have some requests ;)