Love and Jealousy: The straw that broke the camel's back

The straw that broke the camel's back

By jetskiboy2000 - 15/05/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, after convincing my now ex-girlfriend that I wasn’t cheating on her with a girl from work the other day, I accidentally called her by her name. They both start with “M”. Hello, single life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 604

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Same thing different taste

Brain fart

By my bad - 24/09/2020 01:58 - United States

Today, I went out with my friend and her boyfriend. Not knowing him very well, I accidentally called him by her ex’s name. He took that as a sign she was still seeing the ex and dumped her on the spot. She’s now not speaking to me for ruining her life. I’m just bad with names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 508

By Anonymous - 22/07/2013 08:47 - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 959

You deserved it 30 295

By bg4545 - 24/03/2016 03:39 - United States - Whittier

Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 460

You deserved it 18 586

By Anonymous - 07/12/2018 20:00 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I finally lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams, unfortunately she called me by my ex-bestfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 841

You deserved it 377

Sorry sweaty, my brain is melting

By Anonymous - 03/07/2021 22:01

Today, while intoxicated, I accidentally called my girlfriend by female roommate's name. Panicked, I tried to correct myself and said my female best friend's name. My relationship with both is 100% platonic, but as a last ditch effort, completely frazzled, I said my cat's name. Now she won't stop calling me by her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 1 357

She definitely heard

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 429

Self report

By Anonymous - 20/05/2024 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 738

Why Change a Perfectly Good System?

By queenofthegypsys - 01/03/2020 23:00

Today, while creeping on my boyfriend's ex-wife’s Facebook, I found out that he used to call her the same nicknames he now calls me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 933

Force of habit, or just mean?

By leogs23 - 02/03/2021 20:01

Today, my fiancée’s siblings kept calling me by her ex-boyfriend’s name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 78

By Anonymous - 28/12/2016 05:58

Today, while out with my family, I happened to run into "the one who got away." She smilingly introduced herself to my wife, who definitely noticed that she and our daughter share the same name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 594

You deserved it 8 054

L0life29 6

Thursday 16 May 2024 23:12

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

tiptoppc 19

Friday 17 May 2024 15:26

I’m guessing you are a millennial jet skier, I wouldn’t trust you either. Pretty sure you’ve been eyeing that sweet little Suzuki as well, eh?

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 16 May 2024 0:48

Good. **** you.

L0life29 6

Thursday 16 May 2024 23:12

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

tiptoppc 19

Friday 17 May 2024 15:26

I’m guessing you are a millennial jet skier, I wouldn’t trust you either. Pretty sure you’ve been eyeing that sweet little Suzuki as well, eh?

Keywords

Work Accident Embarrassing Health Relatable Annoying LGBTQIA+ Love AITA Inappropriate Relationship advice My ex Cute Animals Cats Transportation Awkward Cars Friends Dogs Money Scams Kids Miscellaneous Drugs Family Public freakouts Intimacy Sex Cheating

The Top

Today, it's been thirteen years since I divorced my husband for being too hard on our son. Since then, he's remarried and had two beautiful, well-behaved kids. My son, meanwhile, is a thieving hellion who doesn't care about anything but himself, and my ex wants nothing to do with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 873

Today, I discovered why the toilet seat is often sticky in the morning. My husband is too lazy to lift the seat, instead opting to pee all over it and sleepily wipe it down with loo paper if he notices a splash. He doesn't see why it's a problem since he 'cleans' it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 520

You deserved it 780

The Top

Today, I accidentally spilled a big glass of water on the table, where I had some papers, my cellphone, and a box of donuts. With lightning reflexes, my sister heroically jumped forward and saved the donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 891

You deserved it 9 235

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 371

You deserved it 37 900

Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 433

You deserved it 30 845

Today, since my neighbor bought two cows and put them in his garden, the smell discourages any potential buyers who come to visit my house that’s been for sale for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 52

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 096

You deserved it 5 861

Today, I wanted to send a birthday card. I kindly asked my boss for an envelope, and she asked me to pay for it. I've been working for her as an intern for over a year now, without receiving any money for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 464

You deserved it 4 317