By Anonymous - 03/12/2017 00:30 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, a gothic 16-year-old with a bread knife tried to mug me. After warning her to back off multiple times, I punched her in the face. She ran off crying and reported me to the police. They don't believe my side of the story. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 964
You deserved it 289
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PhantomCrevan 8

... why does this post give me a sense of dèjá vu...?

4 2
PhantomCrevan 8

And I realized why. The same thing happened to one of my high school teachers back... twenty something years ago when he went to the U.K. Apparently this is a fairly common issue.

1 0
exileonmainst 16

I guess you’re a bit rye-led up huh? But there’s no need to worry, at least you have all your dough.

15 4
RichardPencil 30

She didn’t get any of your bread? Not even a pumpernickel!?!?

7 4
exileonmainst 16

She got none of the bread. But I think he has crust issues now.

7 0
Takegami 22

Next time just sucker punch the little brat

1 16
neuronerd 28

That's... that's what he did...

29 0
Arashikage 18

Did you stop reading after the first sentence

5 0
Mathalamus 24

Why didn't you simply run? I expected that to happen 100%. Why didn't you?

3 13
ThrottleJockey 35

That's when you say, in your best Austrian accent, "that's not a knife, THIS is a knife!" Then you pull out a steak knife.

12 0
Dave_Davington 33

Zat's not eine knife. Zis is eine knife.

1 0
NostalgiaFreak9 41

If the knife wasn’t lost, turn it into the police as evidence. Hopefully her fingerprints will be on it if she wasn’t wearing gloves.

6 0
QueenSaru 28

I have questions. Did you like... just stand there and wait while she went to get the cops and came back?

28 0