Health: Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take...

By LaurenB - 07/06/2012 18:12 - United States - Epping

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 483

You deserved it 5 288

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/11/2015 04:54

Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 507

You deserved it 1 553

Numb

By A.J. - 13/04/2019 08:00 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 877

You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 25/09/2010 02:35 - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 141

You deserved it 2 826

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 110

You deserved it 5 959

By jellybean - 06/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 805

You deserved it 11 010

But… why?

By Fmylife - 06/07/2011 09:17 - United States

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 258

You deserved it 120 990

Snap, crackle, and pop

By Anonymous - 30/09/2023 22:00

Today, I woke up from my wisdom tooth surgery… while they were still sawing my jaw. I had such a bad panic response that they also cut my lip, so I have stitches inside and outside of my mouth, as well as the haunting crackle of bone being removed from my skull stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 111

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 119

You deserved it 3 813

By bouncekitty - 20/02/2011 17:04 - United States

Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 417

You deserved it 5 450

By TT - 19/04/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I went to get some teeth pulled. I had Novocaine in my gums and lip so I couldn't feel a thing. When the doctor is pulling out the last tooth, he sneezes and pulls the tooth out. He looks in my mouth and I hear, "Oh, shit..." I now have stitches in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 719

You deserved it 2 597

SparkleyTurtle 4

Friday 8 June 2012 0:31

Who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!

olpally 32

Friday 8 June 2012 1:01

A sense of humor... I can't believe I just had to explain that... :/

Comments

alymartin 1

Friday 8 June 2012 1:41

Aww!

elliotb94 9

Friday 8 June 2012 2:08

Sounds like an excuse to take more painkillers. Maybe you could create an alter ego and work in diagnostics, you show know emotion but all you crave is someone to love you back. I miss House.

tj4234 35

Friday 8 June 2012 2:15

ah good old painkillers. They once gave me a dream that I was logging into Bebo. Not doing anything else, just logging in. Course it must have been a dream because who honestly goes on Bebo?

shannagregson 3

Friday 8 June 2012 2:34

Sorry you're in pain, but thanks for the laugh. That was funny!

ChamboMango 5

Friday 8 June 2012 3:05

Boo!

Regmeister 10

Friday 8 June 2012 3:16

This is my favorite thing. Ever.

leionheart 1

Friday 8 June 2012 3:39

I'm sorry that is hilarious. Next time draw a face on it!

tannertrevis 5

Friday 8 June 2012 3:40

Hook it up with some vike bro.

Jdumps 1

Friday 8 June 2012 3:49

chill out an stop abusing pain killers idiot

THE_A_TEEN 27

Friday 8 June 2012 20:54

Said the idiot who: A. Types a run-on sentence B. Doesn't realise that OP is taking painkillers for her post-surgery pain C. Doesn't realise that taking painkillers does not mean they are abusing them. Now go act dumb on your own time.