Today, after a week of near constant constipation, I took two...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By hhhh32 - 30/11/2017 22:55

Today, after a week of near constant constipation, I took two laxative pills. Moments later, my crush asked if I wanted to see a movie tonight. I said yes. Wish me luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 69

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Money Christmas Gifts Relatable Lonely Health Family Awkward Miscellaneous Social Media Technology Holidays Narcissistic parents Drunk Love Poopoo peepee Dogs Animals Annoying Work My ex Religion AITA Shopping Intimacy Am I overreacting? Cheating Break-ups Furniture Delivery

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Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 916

You deserved it 3 417

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who looked like Ryan Gosling in his profile pictures. When I arrived at the restaurant, he was wearing a tank top, flip flops, and looked more like an actual Gosling, but not as cute. He then had the audacity to bail, stating I was skinnier than I was in my pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 175

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 715

You deserved it 28 557

Today, I realized the only reason I chose to lose weight is that I can never cross the crosswalk fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 228

You deserved it 34 438

Today, my dad decided that campground bathrooms are disgusting and that on our upcoming camping trip, we'll have to keep a bucket of cat litter in our tent in case we want to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 307

You deserved it 1 576

Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 136

You deserved it 3 015

Today, my husband yawned in the middle of our wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 482

You deserved it 7 166

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 114