Intimacy: Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with...

By Lovejunkie - 01/03/2010 07:30 - United States

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 731

You deserved it 8 664

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 805

You deserved it 4 728

Small guy

By no luck chuck - 09/10/2021 02:00 - United States

Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 904

You deserved it 223

By Username - 16/04/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 933

You deserved it 4 699

By Ummm - 03/08/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 166

You deserved it 2 901

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 6 030

Tiny Tim

By hmmmm - 13/08/2012 12:19 - Australia

Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 337

You deserved it 5 480

Let down

By Anonymous - 23/12/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I visited a friend out of state. We've been flirting for months and decided to fool around at night. He was very loving and attentive, but... he'd bragged about his dick being 6 inches and it ended up being not only thin, but very short. So thin and short that I couldn't really feel it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 378

Is that it?

By Better not - 24/01/2018 20:00 - United States - Kenai

Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 282

You deserved it 2 389

Small is beautiful

By dickless wonder - 21/10/2023 10:00

Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 184

Bad start

By fuck but no fuck - 02/08/2013 19:44 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 140

You deserved it 28 445

moonshine_bek 2

Monday 1 March 2010 16:05

I don't care what anyone says, when it comes down to situations like this; size does really matter folks!

Neotoxx 5

Monday 1 March 2010 16:05

LOL I feel bad for that guy

Comments

beer01 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 6:11

shallow much?!!! And for the record, not all Asian guys have small cocks. And not all black/white/etc guys have big cocks as well. If ever a guy does have a small ****, long as he can make a pussy cum, he's good to go...

tweetbaby14 18

Thursday 4 March 2010 0:53

no the stereotype is white guys have tiny penises too... but that's not true I went out with this british guy and yea he was pretty big but not very good with it...

PMS_Queen 2

Wednesday 3 March 2010 6:20

Lolz! I've been there...... BLECH!! Hopefully that guy never calls you again... It's time to be "busy" and "have other plans"...... basically, just let him know he's not in the running for anything more interesting, if you know what I mean. Sorry, hon, but it happens.... Have a good laugh (or 10,000) and move on. :-D

WTFLMFAOFML 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 9:25

Indians have the smallest ****. It's proven on spike tv

MRagland 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 16:53

Ouch! BUMMER!

MRagland 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 17:37

Get with an African American next time. lol.

funny921 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 1:31

awwwwwwww that sux ass. oh well......... there are other guys wit much bigger ones!

brandothemando 0

Friday 5 March 2010 3:28

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahwhahahahahahahahahahahauauauauauahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaaahahahahahsssahahahaahahhaHAHAHAHAHSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOUR FACE BITCH