Intimacy: Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up... - FML

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 583

You deserved it 24 332

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Same thing different taste

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 574

You deserved it 436

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 301

Hangover time

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 30 378

By anon - 20/12/2016 23:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Spicy

Today, after taking a guy home and getting frisky, he woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed, and peed on my desk. That's 2 years of uni work and my laptop soaked through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 797

You deserved it 2 910

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 775

You deserved it 4 725

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 607

You deserved it 2 812

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 930

You deserved it 4 011

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 269

You deserved it 62 392

It's not the size that counts

By Leo Scofield - 29/08/2020 02:00

Spicy

Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 042

You deserved it 151

By Anonymousse - 13/11/2015 12:34 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 781

You deserved it 1 560

Next

Top comments

iheartjustinsane 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 16:32

YDI for sleeping with some guy you just met.

youdontdeserveit_fml 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 17:27

shamwow?

Comments

cr4ckb0n3f4n 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 19:24

Win

killurbeer 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 22:21

bet she does anal

Clitastrophe 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 23:11

Follow him home and pee on his carpet. That'll show him.

Voids 0

Monday 19 October 2009 1:06

Just thank the lord it wasn't yours and move on. 

FoundManyLemons 0

Monday 19 October 2009 1:59

You never know what you're taking home. FYL and YDI (but just a little).

spiffydick 0

Monday 19 October 2009 2:06

Stupid ****... YDI for being a *****.

xSceneSceneBabyx 0

Monday 19 October 2009 3:57

hey. be happy it wasn't your carpet.

mad92679 1

Monday 19 October 2009 5:41

hahah your a ******* **** and desereved it.

jbm0225 0

Monday 19 October 2009 5:47

at least he didn't shit instead.

ami1043 0

Monday 19 October 2009 6:17

I love how when a girl talks about a bad one nightstand people call her a *****, but when a guy has a bad one night stand everyone agrees that it's an fml.

Villa3L 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 4:40

#24 Is So Right .. &I Like The Whole Following Him Home &Pissing On His Carpet Idea =]

Aggriken 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 1:17

fml is just filled with uptight prudes who can't get laid and try to make fun of those who can.

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You deserved it 525

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You deserved it 82

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 108 428

You deserved it 4 413

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You deserved it 5 787

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I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 268

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I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 99

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I agree, your life sucks 2 142

You deserved it 157

Today, it's 49 days until Christmas, and all I can think of is how it’s mine and my partner's first Christmas together but she’ll be out of town. Apparently, she’d rather hang out with her whackjob family rather than my normal, stable family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 1 131