Miscellaneous: Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop,...

By Anonymous - 28/01/2016 00:24 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after weeks of watching Michael Jackson videos non-stop, my boyfriend learned how to moonwalk. Now he does it literally everywhere. I can't even cross the street without him moonwalking behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 446

You deserved it 2 976

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Same thing different taste

By justabitembarrassed - 07/10/2012 14:20 - United States - Chagrin Falls

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 840

You deserved it 4 819

By Magicfml - 05/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I learned that my boyfriend is a better pole dancer than I am, despite daily practice. This was his first time trying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 296

You deserved it 1 030

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 09:09 - United States - Pueblo

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 312

You deserved it 11 933

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 07/12/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 046

You deserved it 42 027

By laundry day again... - 08/09/2013 13:07 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 731

You deserved it 3 538

By Anonymous - 27/12/2010 17:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out apparently I sleep walk. My boyfriend has been filming me and uploading it all to Youtube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 454

You deserved it 4 468

By Username - 21/07/2011 11:14 - United States

Today, my dad came home and said that he was so inspired by hip hop dancers on TV that he decided to take a hip hop dance class. He signed up for the class that my girlfriend teaches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 432

You deserved it 3 937

By dogmom - 16/07/2012 20:51 - United States - Honolulu

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 150

You deserved it 5 764

Ayy Macarena

By fired - 27/06/2012 20:48 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 226

You deserved it 3 067

What's that sound?

By Ihavethickthighs - 07/09/2017 16:00

Today, and for the past week, my boyfriend joined me on my walks. He's recently gotten into photography and is now intent on tracking down a rare bird that he never sees but always hears. I don't have the heart to tell him that it's the sound of my thighs rubbing together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 625

You deserved it 587

wheresthesafety 31

Thursday 28 January 2016 11:32

Um... Your boyfriend is awesome.

MisterEx 28

Thursday 28 January 2016 11:34

Smooth. But .. Are you ok Annie?

Comments

FranckGonzalz 16

Friday 29 January 2016 0:42

He definitely sounds like a cool guy.

scottishoatmeal 22

Friday 29 January 2016 1:48

I would love to see this

Distantsoul 8

Friday 29 January 2016 2:20

Are you ok?

Rainbow_Rhinos 23

Friday 29 January 2016 2:28

Sorry but that's ******* hilarious

murph_fml 21

Friday 29 January 2016 4:37

Pretty cool, as long as he isn't a "childcare enthusiast".

heathersamommy 13

Friday 29 January 2016 5:03

Your boyfriend is my new favorite human

Doubledimp 23

Friday 29 January 2016 5:31

Pretty much sounds like boyfriend goals.

Dexter83_fml 17

Friday 29 January 2016 7:03

Sounds like your boyfriend wants to be startin something

Ruskiy_Cherep 18

Friday 29 January 2016 8:39

Haha that is awesome!!!

cmac86 23

Friday 29 January 2016 9:05

Calm down Billie Jean. He seems pretty awesome.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 277

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 975

You deserved it 10 760

The Top

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 230

You deserved it 12 450

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 958

You deserved it 6 615

Today, I’m tired of women taking drastic measures to avoid me, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. Recently, I was talking to an old classmate from high school and she faked deleting her profile to avoid following up with our talk about plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 483

Today, I left a gift on my colleague's desk, with a note saying I liked him. He brought it over and handed it back, and told me he's married. His Facebook says he is single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 614

Today, for the hundredth time this year, I was told to lose weight. As an adult, I weigh 90 pounds soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 89

Today, while working in a customer service call center, a customer berated me for using a fake name. He said my name is "too stupid" to be real and that no sane person would ever use it. It was my real name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 580

You deserved it 1 364

Same thing different taste

Noise annoys

Ayy Macarena

What's that sound?

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