Sex, Parents and Intimacy: Today, after wondering why I've never met my father, I asked...

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, after wondering why I've never met my father, I asked my mom if I was the product of a one-night stand. She replied with, "Well, technically he didn't spend the night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 3 695

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Same thing different taste

By so_screwed - 25/09/2013 06:59 - United States - Salinas

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 508

You deserved it 13 892

Stacy's Mom

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out the one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 247

By meunluckycharms - 14/09/2015 19:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 677

You deserved it 1 849

By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 078

You deserved it 5 087

Thanks for nothing

By Anonymous - 12/08/2010 04:00 - United States

Today, I asked my mother why she had me in the first place, as we never get along. She replied because my father wanted me. So, I called my father to ask him the same question, he said he only wanted to have me to keep my mother around, and that didn't work, so I was a waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 953

You deserved it 4 546

Mystery man

By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 713

You deserved it 3 982

By Michael tee - 11/08/2011 20:11 - United States

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 373

You deserved it 5 028

Family goals

By Stephenstrange - 22/07/2021 13:59 - United States - Clinton Township

Today, I asked my mom to tell me how she met my dad, because after 15 years me and my dad are finally working on our relationship. My mom thought it was a good time to tell me he’s not my father, and that my biological father wants to meet me this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 20:00 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 013

You deserved it 3 043

By Steve.mc - 01/05/2011 07:03 - Canada

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 466

You deserved it 7 979

LOLatU87 0

Monday 22 November 2010 9:08

Wow, guess your mom was easy back in the day

freakybella 0

Monday 22 November 2010 9:30

I'm sorry OP that you found out your mom was (still is?) easy. Look on the bright side though, when your mom narrows it down to a few potential men; you can go on tv and let Maury tell you who your father is. If it turns out to be none of them he'll keep helping you search. He doesn't care how high that number of men gets: 30,50, even 100! He won't rest until someone is your daddy!

Comments

freakybella 0

Monday 22 November 2010 9:30

cassiieeX22 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 3:24

15=win

Draminicaus 0

Monday 22 November 2010 9:51

Ask a question and get an honest answer? Oh, the agony. Yeah, it sucks, but it's not the end of the world. I mean, you could have been conceived by a monkey or something.

chasin_butterfli 0

Monday 22 November 2010 10:01

I'm sorry OP. I feel your pain. My daughter's sperm donor barely comes around. She doesn't know him from Adam and I was with that bastard on and off for close to 15 years. Cut mom some slack, I'm sure she didn't mean for things to be the way they are. No woman goes out looking to make some deadbeat into a father, right?

BloodyHeel 8

Monday 22 November 2010 11:39

You sound like a lovely person. I mean that sincerely and you obviously have been under appreciated by your spouse. Shame on him.

noeryu 1

Monday 22 November 2010 16:16

Not true. My mom went out and slept with alot if people to have me. I'm never going to meet him. btw he's rich.

cmac86 23

Monday 22 November 2010 10:05

so do you take those "your mama" jokes personally? it sounds like you should.

stavrosg 3

Monday 22 November 2010 10:09

That was plain cruel, you! BTW, am I the only one thinking that a money exchange could be implied in the mother's answer?

everluck23 0

Monday 22 November 2010 10:31

lucky for you, they didn't have plan B until a few years ago.

rachel0707 0

Monday 22 November 2010 10:50

aww.. that sucks! but at least she had you! :)

penfoldsman 0

Monday 22 November 2010 12:18

ah ha ha ha...your mother's a Ho

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 22 November 2010 16:36

He didn't spend the night cause he had to deliver toys. He was with your mom and her two sisters. To commemorate the time, as he drives by, he yells Ho Ho Ho. You should feel joyous everytime you hear this.