Work and Gross: Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately,...

By Anon - 20/01/2017 22:00

Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 119

You deserved it 1 732

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Same thing different taste

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 349

Shy bowels

By Dragoness11 - 27/03/2014 14:12 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 128

You deserved it 9 653

Gas wars

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 15:59 - United States

Today, a co-worker has the office next to mine. The walls are not soundproofed. I can hear him farting loudly throughout the day. He spread a rumor around the office that he can hear me farting all day. Another coworker told me and gave me advice on foods not to eat, that gave people bad gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 94

Phantom shitter

By eirbear - 14/09/2018 18:30

Today, someone had explosive diarrhea in my bathroom at work and didn't clean it up. I'm the only woman in the office and I have only one toilet with no window or fan, so I have to leave the door open to air it out. It's right beside the canteen. Everyone will think it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 142

By op-poopy - 22/04/2011 14:26 - Canada

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 063

You deserved it 2 597

Symphonic

By Anonymous - 30/01/2014 22:46 - United Kingdom - Preston

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 826

You deserved it 4 914

Office world is hell

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 14:01

Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 140

The walls have ears

By Anonymous - 20/04/2020 17:00

Today, I went out for lunch with one of my co-workers. After work, I talked to one of my friends about how unpleasant the lunch was with him. My co-worker was standing behind me listening in the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 2 792

By Username - 21/01/2011 03:55

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 223

You deserved it 3 646

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

dahgreyman 0

Friday 20 January 2017 22:02

move to a different spot? what the hell.

dare68 2

Friday 20 January 2017 22:02

So sit somewhere else...

Comments

dahgreyman 0

Friday 20 January 2017 22:02

move to a different spot? what the hell.

eyepuppy 31

Saturday 21 January 2017 5:56

But then I wouldn't be sitting in my favorite spot. Don't tell me how to live my life.

DirtySalamander 9

Saturday 23 May 2020 22:29

suck it up snowflake

ber4fun 23

Friday 20 January 2017 22:02

Can you sit somewhere else?

dare68 2

Friday 20 January 2017 22:02

So sit somewhere else...

Gaz_2_0 10

Friday 20 January 2017 22:13

Maybe you could ask your boss or manager if it would be possible for you to have your seat moved.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 20 January 2017 22:43

Wear earplugs? And a noseclip should help, too. You won't taste anything, but that's better than having everything taste like shit.

Tripartita 44

Friday 20 January 2017 23:15

Am I correct in assuming you've already patented this incredibly specific dieting method? I can't imagine you'd just tell us all your secret for free.

diisneygirl 2

Friday 20 January 2017 23:35

Sit somewhere else?

Moerighan 23

Friday 20 January 2017 23:43

Oh no, better have the bathrooms moved then, what an inconvenience. That was sarcasm by the way.

brewmasterg 34

Saturday 21 January 2017 1:36

Does your work not have a kitchen/break room?

cootiequeen4444 11

Saturday 21 January 2017 1:52

"is work day" code for another day in prison? ...because I'm not really sure why you would HAVE to sit near a toilet that colleagues would use and you hear /everything/ unless it's like a prison cell w/ cellmates. Otherwise, dear lawd, is your butt glued to that seat permanently? just move yer arse away from the bathroom. I'm genuinely curious why you didn't do that? and why would you purposefully sit right next to the bathroom. Even on my most anti-social days, I'd eat in a crowded room (even if kids are inclided) than sit right by the ******* bathroom. that's narsty!