Miscellaneous: Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After...

By aelia_oups - 31/12/2012 22:09 - France - Taverny

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 334

You deserved it 7 539

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Same thing different taste

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 442

You deserved it 3 390

Pudding?

By Cake - 12/01/2023 14:00

Today, my mom made my favorite dessert, a pudding. For some reason, she decided to put strawberries in it. She knows I’m allergic to strawberries. She said, “Stop bitching. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it then. Problem solved.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 154

All over cheese?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 01:00 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous Cunt - 24/11/2012 19:38 - Netherlands - Blaricum

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 011

You deserved it 17 624

By dusk - 05/01/2012 08:09 - United States

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 035

You deserved it 4 237

Juicy

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 18:00

Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 136

By Elisa_LmR - 03/01/2014 23:28 - France

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 548

You deserved it 8 630

Man vs. Wild

By Marjo86 - 27/09/2019 20:00

Today, I got stung by a hornet. I asked my mum to pass me my allergy medication, but she refused, because they were my brother's, saying "he's allergic to bees and wasps!" No mum, wrong kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 004

You deserved it 110

Call CPS!

By leovaldez - 22/06/2020 20:08

Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 21:40 - United States - Blain

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 386

You deserved it 3 116

dancer4moon 8

Tuesday 1 January 2013 1:23

She's rude!

breakingbad_fml 27

Tuesday 1 January 2013 1:23

At least she didn't try and kill you herself. With that being said: Your mom is rude. ***Didn't see that first comment there, sorry.

Comments

Karma21 4

Friday 4 January 2013 5:06

That's just bananas !!!

trulymickeyj 13

Saturday 5 January 2013 21:07

If my mommy said that to me I would cry...

lagoosta 4

Sunday 6 January 2013 8:23

sorry. but i find it really funny.

cmhc23 5

Sunday 6 January 2013 9:43

Sounds like my mom. I feel your pain.

peopleequalshet 10

Sunday 6 January 2013 15:10

This is actually the funniest FML I've ever read. OP's mum is great. ^.^

icepick23 12

Wednesday 9 January 2013 21:15

Take the banana and ram it up her ass...she will never insult you again.

TheWingsOfIcarus 4

Wednesday 5 June 2013 5:48

I know how you feel. I am allergic to fruit, vegetables, wheat, plants, eggs and alcohol. If I consume one of these foods my throat will swell up.

andiesaur 18

Monday 18 August 2014 7:00

**** your life. Not so much because of the comment but being allergic to fruit. That sounds torturous.

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

Today, I was at a guy's house that I’d been seeing for a while. After watching a movie, I confessed that after these past few times we’ve hung out, I’ve started to catch feelings. He looked at me and said, "I actually don’t think I want anything serious, but are you down to be friends with benefits?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 476

The Top

Today, I realized that every girl who has approached me or I approached me since high school always ended up trying to get close to me to get close to any one of my friends. Every time I think we’re hitting it off, they ask. When I refuse to set them up, they get angry, and tell others I'm a creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 112

Today, desperate for work, I went into a shop and asked the owner if he had any spare jobs to fill. He looked me up and down and sneered "Yes, but not for people like... you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 787

You deserved it 3 047

Today, I went to the dentist to get a cavity filled. As the dentist was drilling, he accidentally hit a nerve and I ended up screaming in pain. The whole office heard me and now I'm too embarrassed to go back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 131

Today, after months of watching it brewing, my best friend, who I love dearly, slept with the girl I've disliked for almost as long. It’s not my place to be hurt, we’re not together, but the idea just fills my heart with hopelessness and sadness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 492

Today, I was driving my car and I thought the construction guy was flirting and waving at me. So I drove by him, waving back, then I hit an oil spill and my car ended up spinning out of control. He was trying to direct me away from the oil spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 877

You deserved it 43 749

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 106

You deserved it 6 863