Miscellaneous: Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After...

By aelia_oups - 31/12/2012 22:09 - France - Taverny

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 334

You deserved it 7 539

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Same thing different taste

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 442

You deserved it 3 390

Pudding?

By Cake - 12/01/2023 14:00

Today, my mom made my favorite dessert, a pudding. For some reason, she decided to put strawberries in it. She knows I’m allergic to strawberries. She said, “Stop bitching. If you don’t like it, don’t eat it then. Problem solved.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 154

All over cheese?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 01:00 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, my family had an argument with me because I bought the wrong kind of cheese. They never said what kind they wanted. The argument ended with my mother saying that she wished she could kill herself, because of how horrible of a person I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous Cunt - 24/11/2012 19:38 - Netherlands - Blaricum

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 011

You deserved it 17 624

By dusk - 05/01/2012 08:09 - United States

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 035

You deserved it 4 237

Juicy

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 18:00

Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 136

By Elisa_LmR - 03/01/2014 23:28 - France

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 548

You deserved it 8 630

Man vs. Wild

By Marjo86 - 27/09/2019 20:00

Today, I got stung by a hornet. I asked my mum to pass me my allergy medication, but she refused, because they were my brother's, saying "he's allergic to bees and wasps!" No mum, wrong kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 004

You deserved it 110

Call CPS!

By leovaldez - 22/06/2020 20:08

Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 21:40 - United States - Blain

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 386

You deserved it 3 116

dancer4moon 8

Tuesday 1 January 2013 1:23

She's rude!

breakingbad_fml 27

Tuesday 1 January 2013 1:23

At least she didn't try and kill you herself. With that being said: Your mom is rude. ***Didn't see that first comment there, sorry.

Comments

insaneDONUTZ 15

Tuesday 1 January 2013 7:54

that is not very nice

Arrawyn 12

Tuesday 1 January 2013 7:55

Well that's just awful

Megan98 18

Tuesday 1 January 2013 7:57

That's pretty funny, unless she was dead serious.

mowmowlife 21

Tuesday 1 January 2013 8:33

This isn't what is usually thought of when someone dies from consuming food

hwkfan1 10

Tuesday 1 January 2013 9:55

Orange ya glad she didn't say banana? Oh wait...

shabbydoooo 8

Tuesday 1 January 2013 10:04

S-A-R-C-A-S-M

Steffi 26

Tuesday 1 January 2013 10:26

I feel your pain with the fruit allergy.

23Z9TZO 18

Tuesday 1 January 2013 12:36

So ******* tragic.

BlackRoseAndMe11 11

Tuesday 1 January 2013 13:23

Sorry OP...I think that your mom deserves that banana shoved up her ass ..

LaPush_ 7

Tuesday 1 January 2013 13:44

Omg, the funniest i ever heard!

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 63

The Top

Today, I discovered my new phone's voice command doesn't really understand my accent while I'm driving. It kept thinking I was saying, "Call my mum" instead of, "Open Maps". It called my mum 14 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 177

When life gives you garbage...

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 84

Today, I found out that my fiancé has a list with every woman he slept. Chronologically. I'm number 23, out of 27. Our wedding is in two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 411

You deserved it 195

Today, my daughter admitted she struggles to keep a boyfriend because as soon as she shares with them her kink of fucking guys with strap-ons and occasionally inserting other items into them, they flee. As a father, this was way more info about my daughter's sex life than I can handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 654

You deserved it 352

Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 457

You deserved it 3 938

Today, my marriage is one week away. Despite all the challenges we faced during COVID, we powered through everything. Today is also the day my work decided to tell me they're letting me go. I now have to either go on my improvised honeymoon or job hunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 142