Miscellaneous: Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a...

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 944

You deserved it 3 136

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Bunch of bankers

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 133

You deserved it 2 157

By lamed - 04/12/2009 22:01 - United States

Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 211

You deserved it 14 781

By Anonymous - 02/04/2011 21:05 - United States

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 529

You deserved it 5 067

Public freakout

By selfdefense - 12/10/2009 04:16 - United Kingdom

Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 690

You deserved it 2 574

By aloneinaz - 15/01/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 733

You deserved it 844

By sorrystupid - 02/06/2015 07:42 - United States

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 480

You deserved it 5 295

No one is safe

By chili - 24/07/2021 04:01

Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 333

Leg it

By BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 949

You deserved it 2 845

Merry Xmas from the 15th Precinct!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2021 23:01

Today, some guy tried to rob me and I accidentally made him stab himself with his own knife. Now he gets a comfy ride to hospital, while I get to sit across from this grumpy desk sergeant, waiting for a lawyer to explain that I'm actually the victim in this scenario. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 90

Gangsta

By Wolf - 07/11/2018 15:30

Today, I went to my local bank after getting an email from them concerning unknown purchases. Four hours later, I was still in police custody. Someone had been using my account to purchase guns and drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 134

You deserved it 152

slyde32 12

Wednesday 26 November 2014 8:12

sarahsehhati, I've had a gun pointed at my face twice, even being a cop's gun, it was scary. I'm a security guard myself, and if I treated someone like that I'd lose my security lisence, I'd want some form of apology for having a gun held at my head, too

cre8tvlylicnsd 14

Wednesday 26 November 2014 0:25

Nope. They don't. The Israeli police do too. I was in 6th grade when they threw a tear gas canister into our taxi on the way to school when we stopped at the checkpoint. They laughed.

Comments

Okamichu 21

Thursday 27 November 2014 6:39

It would be in the USA

samanatha2222 2

Thursday 27 November 2014 7:41

WOW! THATS AMERICA!

zzappe 6

Thursday 27 November 2014 9:53

Only in America folks! God bless us!

Shade1982 20

Thursday 27 November 2014 10:21

Although I like a good USA-bashing as much as the next guy, I really don't think this is an American only thing. I can tell you the Guardia Civil in Spain also really don't like it when you make any sudden movements towards them either...