By Jif_Creamy - 28/02/2016 05:00 - United States - Washington

Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 897
You deserved it 7 171
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Top comments

syki 22

Good. That means you got an excellent look at his face for the police report.

447 5
oobergoober89 16

I think its about time for a diet. Sorry about your laptop OP

253 15

Comments

tnlander 20

Buy a cheaper replacement laptop if needed and spend a little on a gym membership. Remember: when running from danger you don't need to be the fastest, only the second slowest.

24 4
itsme82 18

You said that in a very kind way. The world needs more people who think like you.

10 1
ThatHorse 15

And when running towards danger, as the OP was, you only need to be able to run.

1 2
Zebediabolical 39

You can make sure you're not slowest by not being afraid to 'accidentally' trip someone who's running away with you.

4 0
meegal 12

If this wasn't a sign then I don't know what is. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings but come on man that's just sad. You really need to improve yourself by losing some weight. I say this with the best intentions, not to harm you emotionally. Your life will be a lot better if you are more healthy. Start living your life the right healthy way and you'll both look and feel better I guarantee it. Improve yourself OP. You can do it!

20 2
BlockOfRedStone 25

As someone that used to run track, I can say that someone that can run a 6 minute mile could outrun someone backwards like that if the other person could only run a 10 minute mile. It might not even be as sad as we think it is, the person that took OP's laptop might just be that fast.

2 3
Leauge 13

You saw his face so you can now describe him to college security and the police.

10 1
Brandi_Faith 33

And go talk to the dean, see if you can ID him from a yearbook or school picture or see if there are any security cameras that recorded it. He'll probably get suspended or thrown out for stealing, not including the fact that you can also press charges with the police.

3 1
coltmerriman 15

Sucks that your laptop got stolen, but YDI for not working out. Does your campus have an open gym?

2 8
itsme82 18

Op, I'm sorry your laptop got stolen. Make sure to file a report with the police. The fact that he moonwalked and humiliated you infuriates me. I hope he gets caught. Big hugs!!

5 2