Health: Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because...

By Ow - 18/04/2014 11:09 - United States - Golden Valley

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 484

You deserved it 59 782

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Same thing different taste

By Ahhwtf - 18/08/2009 11:47 - United States

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 734

You deserved it 9 812

By Manly Sneeze - 07/07/2016 11:34

Today, I would like to say I pinched a nerve throwing punches, but no, I did it by sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 098

You deserved it 1 532

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 11:44 - Sweden

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 210

You deserved it 6 113

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 20:13 - France

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 326

You deserved it 7 578

By HWS - 15/04/2011 05:47 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 290

You deserved it 7 777

Powerful

By ouchmynose - 18/02/2009 02:43 - United States

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face onto my knee and breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 289

You deserved it 7 097

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 113

By jellybean - 06/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 806

You deserved it 11 012

By Anonymous - 25/09/2010 02:35 - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 144

You deserved it 2 828

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 628

You deserved it 9 664

Immortal_Toaster 23

Friday 18 April 2014 18:11

That's snot very fun..

Pleonasm 35

Friday 18 April 2014 18:13

Did you then punch yourself in the heart because you wouldn't stop bleeding?

Comments

an3ph 20

Saturday 19 April 2014 10:55

Sue yourself.

cmac86 23

Saturday 19 April 2014 11:05

that would have been interesting to have seen.

Icantputmyname 4

Saturday 19 April 2014 13:06

Yeah. Not the smartest thing...

Alhamdulilah 15

Saturday 19 April 2014 14:09

Do you punch your anus when you get diarrhea?

scubanick 10

Saturday 19 April 2014 14:34

I hate to be negative .... But you're an idiot lol

InvisibleMonster_fml 16

Saturday 19 April 2014 15:00

You're an idiot.

flynryder 7

Saturday 19 April 2014 15:51

And the fortune teller stated, "I see Anger management classes are in you future."

YangTheWolf 2

Saturday 19 April 2014 16:12

I'm sorry, but you're ******* dumb.

hotbutthurttoast 13

Saturday 19 April 2014 17:02

You nose nothing

fergnasty 14

Saturday 19 April 2014 19:46

You're a ******* idiot.

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Today, after boiling eggs my whole life, I wanted to try a packaged hard-boiled egg for the first time. I'd never had a cold egg before, so I thought it would be a good idea to warm it up. Now, I'm cleaning out a billion pieces of egg shrapnel in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 472

You deserved it 9 839

Today, my dad admitted to dating and getting my stepdaughter pregnant, and they’re very happy. My wife is furious. Meanwhile, my brother pointed out it’s a real life version of the Willie Nelson song. Once the baby is born, our inbred family tree will result in me technically being my own grandad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 91

The Top

Today, I was getting ready for a date. I spent extra time getting ready in the shower, making sure I was all shaved. I was shaving my upper lip to make sure I didn't have a mustache. I cut my lip really badly, leaving the most noticable razor cut on my face for my date. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 076

You deserved it 27 724

Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 3 636

Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 830

You deserved it 38 841

Today, the person I was seeing asked to be just friends. A few hours later, they tried to talk me into having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 244

You deserved it 1 291

Today, I excitedly started my first university psychology course. Enthusiastic and ready to learn, I listened as my teacher introduced himself. Turns out he's a major transphobe, who is in cahoots with the likes of Jordan Peterson and Ray Blanchard. Only 12 weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 905

Today, I went on a date. He stole my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 692

You deserved it 3 221

Same thing different taste

Powerful

Faulty plumbing

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