Intimacy: Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my...

By Nicos - 25/12/2008 06:07 - France

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 963

You deserved it 6 274

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 676

You deserved it 8 434

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 088

You deserved it 7 767

By Sharibabi65 - 07/03/2012 06:16 - United States

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 454

You deserved it 6 852

Self-service

By Steve - 13/06/2012 21:30 - United States - Lake Charles

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 811

You deserved it 17 109

By Anonn - 23/02/2009 13:14 - Australia

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 163

You deserved it 23 485

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 5 001

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 960

You deserved it 14 588

Let's get it on

By Frank - 17/08/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 053

You deserved it 6 454

I'll take what I can get

By Queen LaQueefah - 13/09/2015 11:52 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 182

You deserved it 3 401

By Great. - 18/05/2012 15:05 - United States - Billings

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 011

You deserved it 5 346

moxy_fml 0

Friday 6 February 2009 17:49

Bah, I wank all day long, my dick's practically hanging by a thread.

williamhungftw 0

Monday 23 February 2009 19:05

THATS AWESOMEE. she sounds pretty sweet. = ]

Comments

NDiesal10 2

Friday 14 October 2011 20:41

Not like she's wrong lol

chubby_choco 17

Monday 23 January 2012 20:23

Well, at least she has a sense of humor. But all things considered, yeah, FYL.

billyboboo 6

Sunday 3 June 2012 23:46

My Missus said exactly the same thing, must be a woman thing lol!

Ronican 1

Wednesday 22 August 2012 23:24

truth hurts

Pichu959 8

Friday 12 April 2013 22:38

Honestly i think that she was just telling the truth :3

darkfireflame 15

Friday 18 October 2013 12:04

I don't think she's wrong.

CyberGothic 16

Sunday 22 December 2013 4:59

A girl with a great sense of humor like that is a keeper!

kirbs19 37

Tuesday 20 January 2015 8:24

Lovely

Cadeth 13

Sunday 15 November 2015 1:08

Well she's not wrong...

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 79

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 434

You deserved it 21 179

The Top

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 086

You deserved it 3 416

Today, I realised how poor I am when I found myself fishing out a two dollar coin someone had left behind in a public toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 514

You deserved it 6 698

Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 761

You deserved it 7 622

Today, I realized that because of COVID-19, I can no longer cough to cover my farts at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 940

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 283

You deserved it 14 173

Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 105

You deserved it 41 832

Same thing different taste

Self-service

Let's get it on

I'll take what I can get

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