Miscellaneous: Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

By gonavybeatarmy - 31/05/2012 05:28 - United States - San Diego

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 659

You deserved it 4 986

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 04:04 - United States

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 605

You deserved it 3 719

By insomnitude - 05/03/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 774

You deserved it 13 804

By Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 943

You deserved it 3 127

Alexa, play "Ironic" by Alanis Morrissette

By irony, huh? - 20/10/2019 14:00

Today, I got mugged. For an actual mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 21:36 - United States

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 982

You deserved it 3 573

By Garry the Gluten-Free Pizza - 13/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 640

You deserved it 1 056

By Tanner - 16/07/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 449

You deserved it 3 684

By sorrystupid - 02/06/2015 07:42 - United States

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 480

You deserved it 5 295

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 14:31 - United States - Iowa Park

Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 731

You deserved it 8 314

By anoymus - 31/05/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 950

You deserved it 3 278

Doxy 22

Thursday 31 May 2012 12:08

I love how this FML sounds more annoyed than anything.

Hurrikhan 12

Thursday 31 May 2012 12:05

What?!

Comments

lillord55 10

Monday 25 November 2013 16:29

I think op is in the navy and was almost kidnapped twice by the army as a prank. but that's just my assumption after reading the name on the FML.

DMAN80182001 15

Sunday 6 April 2014 13:25

How... Why?!?!

cwl727 32

Saturday 3 May 2014 18:00

This is one of those FMLs that needs a follow up from the OP.

manimitsu 6

Friday 11 July 2014 19:44

how? by who?

fantasyworld 37

Wednesday 17 December 2014 3:38

This needs a follow-up.

Cpl_Levi 19

Sunday 26 April 2015 6:22

Go navy!

sharond23 10

Thursday 23 November 2017 3:33

sure you did

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 981

You deserved it 10 418

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 780

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted some bondage for the first time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being put on, I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; my girlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 087

You deserved it 15 611

Today, a childhood friend reached out to me to apologize for our friendship. He was obviously drunk, and admitted that his parents made him become friends with me so that my dad, their landlord, would be easy on them when the rent was short after his mom lost her job. He said he never really liked me and called me a nerd, before hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801

You deserved it 117

Today, the drive-thru lady at Taco Bell broke my debit card and tried to hide it by wrapping it in a receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 842

You deserved it 1 758

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 161

You deserved it 12 400

Today, as usual, I'm stuck working in a brutally hostile work environment under my mother-in-law, who's never forgiven me for marrying her daughter. I only got the job because of family politics. Four months on, I still can't even land so much as a single interview elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 038

You deserved it 1 714

Today, I bought a new cannister and it came with a label that said "Cookies" so I carefully scanned and photoshopped it to say "Coffee". Then I opened the cannister to find 11 double-sided bilingual labels -- including "Coffee". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 2 581

Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Ironic" by Alanis Morrissette

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