Love: Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started...

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 740

You deserved it 32 291

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 869

You deserved it 1 792

By Em - 15/10/2009 06:12 - France

Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 332

You deserved it 3 635

By hunnydoll - 18/08/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 81 643

Plot twist

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 70

By Jess - 20/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I called my boyfriend. He answered with, "Hey, I'll call you back when this goes to commercial." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 500

By iamnotfat - 06/02/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 780

You deserved it 4 498

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 730

By SMS123 - 25/06/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 485

You deserved it 4 790

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524 684

You deserved it 37 051

Awwwww

By Anonymous - 18/02/2016 00:53 - United States - Taunton

Today, I worked such a long shift at Panera that when my boyfriend called later, I answered, "It's a fresh day at Panera Bread in [town], this is [name] speaking. How may I help you?" He thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 003

You deserved it 2 377

zingline89 18

Wednesday 16 May 2012 23:17

Do you always moan when your boyfriend eats out? Giggity

PlutoPrincess222 9

Wednesday 16 May 2012 23:14

Well that was an interesting move on your part haha :)

Comments

groupleader 7

Thursday 17 May 2012 15:58

Did he order you a five dollar footlong?

myndmelt 4

Thursday 17 May 2012 16:57

And the pickles.... And the Pickles..... And the PICKLES!

loveyouall81 2

Friday 18 May 2012 13:42

Ha! You are quick witted.

sgonza 4

Friday 18 May 2012 17:29

Uncool!

Ch4rmluv 8

Saturday 19 May 2012 2:42

Haha! Best. Pun. Ever!!

beastroish 0

Saturday 19 May 2012 9:43

Uhh...so in s fast food restaurant, your boyfriend thinks it's a good idea to put his conversation on Speaker Phone???? Weird..

Firemoach 3

Sunday 20 May 2012 12:17

Why was he on speakerphone in a fast food place?

sorrowevicteon 9

Tuesday 22 May 2012 16:18

Wait, girls can do that on purpose? D:

hurley12 30

Friday 27 March 2015 14:44

Sounds like something I'd do

shannon2348 14

Friday 11 October 2019 0:54

I can always tell when someone has me on speakerphone. ydi

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wife made me sleep on the couch because I ate the last Magnum Ice Cream bar. Last week, she bitched me out for singing too loud in the shower. I strongly regret leaving my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 1 910

Today, I had just finished a really intense workout in my garage gym. It was chilly outside, but I crossed the road home in my shorts, as I was still pretty hot and sweaty. A woman walked by and asked, "Aren't you cold, you skinny little whore?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 274

The Top

Today, I was looking at my boyfriend's rarely-used Facebook page as he was next to me. Last time he was online over a year ago, he had something up that said, "Still looking for that perfect girl." I jokingly said he should update it. He responded, "Why? It's still true." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 351

Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 347

You deserved it 3 547

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 251

You deserved it 8 393

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 634

You deserved it 8 914

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 306

You deserved it 4 017

Today, I went on a blind date. It turned out that the person who I was set up with was my ex's sibling. We spent the whole evening talking about how terrible my ex is. I'm still single, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 139

Same thing different taste

Plot twist

Awwwww

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