Intimacy: Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how...

By screewit - 20/02/2009 23:42 - United States

Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 762

You deserved it 4 970

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By desocrates - 20/06/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 680

You deserved it 4 070

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 660

You deserved it 4 166

Busted

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 23:41 - France

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 899

You deserved it 2 850

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 978

You deserved it 2 961

I'll just hang out I guess

By jailbirdlove - 11/10/2010 01:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 815

You deserved it 4 306

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 994

You deserved it 108 950

Make the most of it

By Godmish - 02/01/2009 05:37 - France

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 588

You deserved it 2 751

By Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 965

You deserved it 4 235

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 11:33 - Australia

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 008

You deserved it 57 586

No time to lose

By Atma - 02/07/2023 03:00

Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 226

Cloudy_fml 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 3:45

Maybe she meant "last time"... =/

henrymeows 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 5:33

hoes... keep your pimp hand strong

Comments

Cloudy_fml 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 3:45

Maybe she meant "last time"... =/

missonedirection 6

Sunday 29 April 2012 21:52

It says "last night."

kipperin 18

Wednesday 21 May 2014 8:27

Gosh,#50, you're a dumbass

Crow801 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 4:27

... Sorry man.

Saodar 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 4:32

That sucks, I'm sorry man

henrymeows 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 5:33

hoes... keep your pimp hand strong

impatientsnake 4

Tuesday 1 March 2011 9:16

gotta keep them bitches in line

Darly_fml 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 8:41

If she told you about it she must have thought it *was* you... So either she got the days mixed up or ... something bizzarre happened with some other guy she thought was you, or maybe she just dreamt it! Better ask her about it.

greenman_fml 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 9:41

she's a common prostitute smeared with the paint of seduction.

csigabajnok 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 14:32

Tell her she can wait for that...

X_fml 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 4:05

Well... If you called her, she knew who she was talking to. She confused the days, that's all! You may think she was cheating if she called you and said that, because she could confused numbers. BUT if you called her, i don't think there's nothing to worry about.