Your wedding preparations are between you and your significant other. You didn't ask your mother for her help, so she has no right to tell you how to celebrate YOUR big day. Hope you have a beautiful wedding op

My advice: Don't be afraid of offending people. Everyone will be butthurt about something, you can please them all. And it's YOUR day. Your memories are more important than their feelings.

It sounds like she's not handling her lack of control over your life very well. Maybe you should task her with some irrelevant chore and act like it's a big help. Or give her some Lego to occupy herself with.

your day, your wedding. I hope you put aside her negativity!

If she were paying for the dress, one would expect she should have some input. Otherwise . . .

In this wedding I see Momzilla rather than Bridezilla. Hope you stood up for yourself OP, best of luck and congratulations!

Honestly, do the wedding with want you want and what works best for you and your fiance. The people that show up and accept your choices for it are the ones that understand that this day isn't about them and what they would like, it's about supporting you. You'll regret catering to other people because you're sacrificing making other people more happy and comfortable on a day where it's supposed to be significant and focused on the 2 of you, your life together, and you being happy and comfortable. The day isn't about her, what she wants and demands is irrelevant. I don't know if she's married or not, but if she is, she got the chance to have a wedding the way she wanted, and if she isn't, well that's still no excuse to control yours.

You do know that you do not have to give into her demands. Just because she's your parent does not mean you have to let her treat you or your soon to be spouse like this. Stand up to her you will feel better about yourself. I know it's hard but you can do it. If you don't it will only get worse. Good luck OP.

My mother-in-law is like that. Any time we'd call she'd lose her shit so we only text now. Works so much better ?

"On second thought, you don't need to attend. Thank you for your support, though." I am sorry OP. My current MIL is a lot like this. Any news we have is all about her. She can't pay for our abortion (we didn't want one, nor did we mention one, it was the first thing out of her mouth though). She won't help us with our wedding (again, we didn't ask, she was simply being told the date/place we'd chosen), then complain about the venue to the point she rented out a huge chalet for our wedding and invited her entire side of the family (4 siblings, 43 kids, multiple grandchildren, spouses, etc.). Our guest list was 40 people max, and my husband was adamant about not inviting relatives he hadn't spoken with in 5+ years. She wasn't happy when she had to not only cancel the chalet rental, but tell all of the relatives that SHE'D invited them without our permission (she blamed me anyways). I could go on, but this post is about you and your situation. The only advice I can give is set boundaries early, often, and stick to them. Your mother won't get better with age.