Work: Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing...

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 220

You deserved it 9 936

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 11:49 - United States

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 877

You deserved it 64 820

Set the scene

By NJ. - 24/01/2009 10:41 - United States

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 235

You deserved it 2 449

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 1 892

By sleepytime - 05/10/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 689

You deserved it 32 916

By 123roomielover - 26/01/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 565

You deserved it 3 740

By anthony512 - 24/05/2013 16:08 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 034

You deserved it 12 765

By Anonymous - 15/12/2015 18:10 - Germany - Munich

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 982

You deserved it 2 601

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 338

You deserved it 9 836

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 554

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 085

You deserved it 40 678

oicu812xD 16

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:25

At least they didn't ruin the dream by waking you up

JoeGrant 12

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:24

It's an omen, and I'm sure your co-workers will laugh and so will you. Don't worry so much!

Comments

graffitied_love 20

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:33

One of those dreams where it's too good to be true :(

perdix 29

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:34

I saw the OPs location and got all excited imagining the hot roommate making jambalaya, boudin and boiling up a mess o' crawfish! What's wrong with me?

perdix 29

Saturday 20 July 2013 17:26

#27, Who dat?!?! Let's get in my pirogue and row through the bayou to the honky tonk to hear some nice Zydeco music. Laissez les bon temps rouler!

darwinism 30

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:36

I've heard that dreams mean the opposite. So, go home, strap on an apron and cook your housemate a meal, and see if she pulls you into her room.

BlueFlatts 20

Saturday 20 July 2013 22:28

Maybe it's because I'm a guy but flipping the genders doesn't seem as appetizing.

SlapAndTickle 20

Sunday 21 July 2013 1:02

Flipping genders? I hope you are insinuating that only a woman should cook. A man that can cook and will cook once in a while for me is one of the hottest things ever. And wearing just an apron? YUM! That's right, take out that pencil and paper to take some notes. Having issues with your girlfriend/wife try that and see what happens! Be sure to know how to decently cook first though, pretty sure she doesn't want food poisoning.

AngelLovesDerby 10

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:41

Damn doesn't that suck when your dreams are better than reality.

carecow 16

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:42

Man up and make it reality!

jabi3jabi3 8

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:50

You've got to get a raise now..

retyi43 14

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:51

I've had this dream so many times... I mean, along the same lines, that is. :(

perdix 29

Saturday 20 July 2013 16:57

I'll bet the talking part was bad enough, but it could have been worse. They could have let you sleep through the tongue flicking, the finger crooking, the pelvic thrusting, the climax and the apologizing for being too quick. And then posted the video on YouTube.