Animals: Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours...

By Mumbling Mutt101 - 15/08/2011 06:23 - Australia

Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 479

You deserved it 5 877

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Same thing different taste

Crime scene

By xTRYSOFTx - 07/03/2020 03:00 - United States

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 2 190

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 05:16 - Canada

Today, I went to check if my neighbours were home to return their dog, having looked after her for a few days. I looked in the window and the place was empty. They'd moved house and stuck us with their dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 546

You deserved it 3 578

Suspicious minds

By abusedparrot - 24/08/2014 12:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 258

You deserved it 6 137

By ashleyramsay - 23/10/2009 19:13 - Canada

Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 704

You deserved it 11 816

By Angry Mob - 01/02/2013 06:09 - Australia - Sydney

Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 231

You deserved it 2 328

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 5 251

Scooby snacks

By Anonymous - 04/07/2022 07:00 - United States - Ashland

Today, I was frantically woken up from a nap by my son who was scared because there was a dog in the house. We don't own a dog. It was the new neighbor's dog. When my son opened the door to go play outside, the dog came barreling in. My kid and cats were terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 143

Reported

By Anonymous - 07/01/2023 09:00

Today, I got basically raided by Child Welfare on very true reports I left a 4 month-old boy home alone with just water. The boy in question is my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 777

By Anonymous - 30/01/2012 23:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 104

You deserved it 2 260

By egged - 01/10/2009 06:43 - Singapore

Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 162

You deserved it 2 262

BBGxBlondie 6

Monday 15 August 2011 18:48

You know what else is funny? That I'm one of the people that thumbed down your comment. AHAH.

Bijaglo 3

Monday 15 August 2011 16:00

Smart dog..

Comments

Cereal_Is_Good 5

Monday 15 August 2011 18:56

I just imagined a small child calling for help in the voice of Salad Fingers, that was a disturbing thought. My imagination isn't a normal place.

heresjuju 2

Monday 15 August 2011 19:17

You should stop keeping young children in your basement then.

Raheemdplayer 7

Monday 15 August 2011 19:28

My friend's dog sings to the 'Prince Of Bel Air' theme tune. FYL

unixdude 9

Monday 15 August 2011 20:34

You really meant to say you killed someone who broke into your house, and only later learned it was your neighbor. Right?

MrHill 6

Monday 15 August 2011 21:45

"Ceasar is home!"

TKello 6

Monday 15 August 2011 21:46

Well at least you know that if you're ever in trouble your neighbors will come and help you.

HomeAl0ne 20

Tuesday 16 August 2011 0:27

I wish I had your skill with training animals. I can't count the number of failures I have to live with. My octopus has shown zero ability in macrame and the gerbil frankly sucks at making pasta. I did teach my parrot to talk, but didn't properly think through the consequences of its first phrase being "Here kitty, kitty, kitty!".