Kids: Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get... - FML

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 267

You deserved it 4 825

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 551

You deserved it 6 202

By StockedWithJuice - 06/07/2013 15:14 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 798

You deserved it 5 336

By Anonymous - 15/09/2013 04:02 - United States

Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 501

You deserved it 6 578

By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 802

You deserved it 5 269

Smells like…

By BobsBabe2 - 24/10/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 195

You deserved it 2 855

By Failed Parent - 11/10/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 935

You deserved it 4 640

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 31/03/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 905

You deserved it 4 584

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 755

You deserved it 6 027

By diddlebuag - 27/05/2011 22:09 - United States

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 045

You deserved it 6 250

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 31/08/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, my son tried my year great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 115

Next

Top comments

josh7279 7

Monday 4 November 2013 8:24

Wow your son is that desperate?

Mike09220 14

Monday 4 November 2013 8:30

Natural selection.

Comments

JMichael 25

Monday 4 November 2013 12:21

Umm..is he retarded?

Goblin182 26

Monday 4 November 2013 13:17

Desperate or stupid?

xxxkassixxx 8

Monday 4 November 2013 13:49

That is the new thing. Lol xD 21st century kid problems

hobojo69 23

Monday 4 November 2013 15:27

Like why would he even do that to be cool, I mean he wouldn't look cool when he tells everyone he got drunk off aftershave he would look like an idiot!

mythicaltimes 15

Monday 4 November 2013 15:59

he'd only try that once

BobbieH 19

Monday 4 November 2013 16:42

You should treat this seriously. This could be simply an episode of stupid experimentation, however it can indicate a much more serious issue. If your son is already sneaking alternative means to get drunk, he probably has issues with alcohol. You should be aware of possible drug use as well.

8born8 18

Monday 4 November 2013 19:15

Why?!?! Just.... WHY?!?!???

anchorsaweigh003 13

Monday 4 November 2013 20:10

parenting: you're doing it right!

buckdharma 36

Monday 4 November 2013 21:49

You must disinKlein him or he will surely deKlein!

esigmond 2

Monday 4 November 2013 22:08

It's your own damn fault for raising a stupid ass son

1
2
3
4
5
6

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 651

Today, my jobless husband wants to buy the latest iPhone. His current phone is in good condition, except that he has a 1000 apps on it slowing it down. We're also in deeply crushing debt from all his bad financial decisions from his severely loss-making business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 315

You deserved it 98 422

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 519

You deserved it 1 383

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 084

You deserved it 3 050

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents. They were both on the bed, and I was lying on the floor next to their bed. Halfway through the movie, apparently forgetting that I was in the room, my parents started getting… friendly. Three feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 783

You deserved it 4 850

Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 091

You deserved it 3 895

Today, Rudolph's nose burned out. I had to guide the sleigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 74