Kids: Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get... - FML

By don'tdrinkthat - 03/11/2013 22:27 - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 267

You deserved it 4 825

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 551

You deserved it 6 202

By StockedWithJuice - 06/07/2013 15:14 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 798

You deserved it 5 336

By Anonymous - 15/09/2013 04:02 - United States

Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 501

You deserved it 6 578

By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 802

You deserved it 5 269

Smells like…

By BobsBabe2 - 24/10/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 195

You deserved it 2 855

By Failed Parent - 11/10/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 935

You deserved it 4 640

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 31/03/2011 22:10 - United States

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 905

You deserved it 4 584

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 755

You deserved it 6 027

By diddlebuag - 27/05/2011 22:09 - United States

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 045

You deserved it 6 250

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 31/08/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, my son tried my year great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 115

Next

Top comments

josh7279 7

Monday 4 November 2013 8:24

Wow your son is that desperate?

Mike09220 14

Monday 4 November 2013 8:30

Natural selection.

Comments

rc89 9

Monday 4 November 2013 9:46

in the uk tge drinking age is 18 and many parents I know mine did let their children have a glass of wine with dinner and have the odd drink for special occasions from the age of 14 and looking at the culture over here the children who are allowed to have the odd drink dont go out and drink to excess or end up in hospital or become a burden for local police forces

BadddWolf 10

Monday 4 November 2013 10:19

You should probably hide the glue.

sinekt 9

Monday 4 November 2013 10:26

It HAD to be USA... hahahahaha :))))))

babyblueyes 27

Monday 4 November 2013 10:33

That's a winner you've raised there!

Caelophile 8

Monday 4 November 2013 10:38

At least it was aftershave. Nobody like a ragged-looking drunk.

Greenteamextreme 16

Monday 4 November 2013 10:56

..... I think he's broken lol.

worldclassrager 39

Monday 4 November 2013 10:59

Well the alcohol can achieve that possibility...at least you didn't walk in on him trying the rubbing alcohol and tampon trick...

polkadotty4 7

Monday 4 November 2013 11:53

Knew this should of made it :) moderated this!

xRezSynn 15

Monday 4 November 2013 11:57

Teach him well, mother.

johnpaisley 6

Monday 4 November 2013 12:12

Tell him to go to a library there is probs a guy dealing behind there

8born8 18

Monday 4 November 2013 19:13

WTF? JUST. NO.

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The Top

Today, while driving with my family, the car got stuck in a large patch of mud. My family of seven decided that I, the fifteen year old girl, would be best suited to push it out. After slipping, falling, and getting completely covered in mud, they finally called a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 255

You deserved it 3 821

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

The Top

Today, my now-ex broke up with me after alleging that I cheated on her. I didn't do anything, for the record. When I told my sister about it, she showed me a screenshot of an Instagram story where my ex was tagged, two weeks before leaving me. My ex was actually making out with another dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 93

Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 413

You deserved it 13 003

Today, my boyfriend threw a fit because I "still" live with my mother at age 30. I bought her an apartment in my building and hired a live-in nurse because she is senile and permanently bedridden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 341

You deserved it 2 548

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 4 821

Today, I got stuck in a three-hour traffic jam because I sneezed and missed the road I was meant to take. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 623

You deserved it 4 921

Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 879

You deserved it 55 608